I have to be honest with you in my last post, I lied, I said I wouldn’t be back on the pista. But having had chats with Mr JCR we decided one more go at the pista before returning to the hills. So its 6, 30 today for the start. 6am and the bathroom is now down to 30 degrees, as Lucifer let up slightly yesterday. ABBA woke me up – Mamma Mia, which is how I feel about tackling this second run.
In the car down to the village, we are behind a bag lady on a bike. She is of indeterminate age, wearing shorts, a baggy top and flip flops. And her bike is loaded with bags everywhere – she is doing the recycling run and wobbles precariously with containers tied on with bungees and carrier bags wrapped around the handles. We watch with bated breath as she eventually brakes and unloads her plastic cargo.
Thank heavens it wasn’t the glass run, that would have been carnage. But in actual fact we notice that Italians generally don’t drink that much to do big bottle bank runs, so it’s only Mr & Mrs JCR who do the bottle bank walk of shame! She starts up again, a bit of wobble and re-centering her gravity – off she goes, but her cycling is equally as wobbly without the rubbish as with it.
Today is my new opportunity to become a molto chic podista, I am wearing rather gorgeous sunglasses, a new running top and sporting a determination not to end up red and sweaty. Arrive at the pista, first part of my walk and I overtake a walker, he is about 75 I guess, with a shock of wavy hair reminiscent of George Michael in the Last Christmas video, but obviously not wearing the cheesy Christmas sweater. He looks cool. 1-0 to me. Second overtakee coming up she is young, bronzed and wearing earphones. 2-0. Uh-oh, Fano get one back, he is about 50 wearing clothes, (which after Sunday’s male bikini wearers is a blessed relief). 2-1.
Mr Smooth interjects and I have to start running, slow and steady, taking a curve nicely and then amazing – another 2 overtakes. That’s 4-1. On the back strait I am overtaken by a topless dreadlocked god. He has muscles on muscles. 4-2. Heading towards the tennis club, I spy some shade but it is in the cycling bit, not the walking bit, so an inward groan and I continue. Mr Smooth is suspiciously quiet nowadays, I am suspecting him of two-timing.
Reaching the half way bell and I get past two ladies chatting, 6-2. It’s getting quite warm now and the pista doesn’t really have any shade, so a quick slurp from the water bottle and I get overtaken by the human version of SpongeBob SquarePants. This man is a cube on legs, but my grief he is motoring, I almost get a backdraft when he goes past. That’s 6-3, but I get the final overtake on a lady chatting on her phone. 7-3 an away win for Liverpool.
However, with the new FIFA penalty taking rules, designed to stop the first penalty takers getting an unfair advantage, I realise that I can’t actually count any of my overtaking, because not one of my overtakes were runners. So I actually lost 0-3 as I was running, being overtaken by other runners.
I did my warm down walk, actually slowed down to a stop to watch with admiration as SpongeBob continued his sprinting, he really did have a low centre of gravity and his legs went like pistons. How on earth he managed to do 4 sets of sprints in this heat is beyond me. Oh and he continued to run afterwards when I was doing my cool down stretches.
So my statistics today:-
Got up earlier = +1 point
Didn’t forget any kit = +1 point
Was wearing sunglasses = + 1 point
Overtook 7 people, non of whom realised they were in my race = minus 7 points (you really can’t count competitors who didn’t know they were racing)
Got overtaken legitimately = minus 3 points
Finished the run = +1 point
Was still salsa red = minus 1 point
But took off 20 seconds off one of my km splits – it still glacially slow but not quite as bad = +1 point
So I am calling it a slightly dishonourable draw, definitely not a chic podista today, still looked like a salsa red tomato wearing sunglasses.
Ho hum , maybe next time. Chicness still awaits, but I am patient. One day I will be that Dulux shade of sorbet, my pony tail will swoosh and someone else (probably incredibly short-sighted) may just say, wow did you see that podista – doesn’t she look English!
Mercy (twice in succession) – Duffy
London Calling – The Clash
Ruby – Kaiser Chiefs
All These Things That I Have Done – The Killers
Talking Loud and Clear – OMD
Cabron – Red Hot Chilis
Everything Must Go – The Manics
Rio – Duran Duran
Dont Stop Til You Get Enough – Michael Jackson
Wonderwall – Oasis
Alison – Elvis Costello
Unbelievable – EMF
Distance 5.52 Km
Average Pace 8.40 mins/km
Originally published on Health Unlocked 8 August 2017
I liked this run too, Mr JCR also watched SpongeBob because he thought he was an amazing athlete too. Just shows you never can tell, from someone’s physique abot how fast or fit they are. The young, bronzed, earphoned lady then had a cigarette in the car park…