It’s 9, 28. That’s 9 am and I have overslept Mr Smooth’s date invitation. It’s also now a low 28 degrees in our bathroom; Lucifer has finally taken his leave of this part of the world – four degrees cooler – glorious! Lucifer arrived pretty much six weeks ago, which was Week Two of my C25K plan and when I first appealed for hot weather running help, I had no idea exactly how long he’d hang around. True to his devilish nature, at 4am this morning he decided high winds, a ten degrees temperature drop and tons of rain lashing against the windows would be in order, just to say his fond farewell.
So for a change I was quite chipper, I’d overslept but no big deal, it was cooler and I’d already done the 25 minute sessions last week – oh and I’d managed it despite the Hill that Kills turning into a shark and biting a big chunk out of my glutes. The halo of smugness was glowing brightly.
Down the Slope of Hope, I start my run a little sooner in distance terms, but that’s because I usually faff with the tech before going. For the first time ever I am actually running downhill and not up, it felt strangely wonderful, and then into the Hill that Kills. Mmm, she didn’t like me last time, and made me pay, but it was hard and not too awful so I continued onwards, upwards to Lovers’ Lane. Still okay, around Villa Bali and back up Lovers’ Lane, and then bam, wham, kerpow. Waves of tiredness came over me and so I thought maybe it would be better to re-do the Lovers’ Lane bit back and forth to finish the run. But then that way the Hill that Kills will have beaten me and she ain’t going to do that.
I trudged on and trudged was the word, Mr Smooth decided this was just the point to suggest I may like to vary the pace. Whaaattt…. vary it how, there’s only one variation going on and it isn’t going to be faster. Back up the Hill that Kills, with my creepy horror movie chant ‘You can do it, if you go slow’ on Oldfloss repeat mode – I know it’s hardly Stephen Spielberg material is it? I also engaged tiptoe running mode – it’s weird but when I need to slow down if I run on tiptoes for a few paces, it seems to slow me down. Not sure how I worked that one out and it looks very strange…
Back to Lovers’ Lane when Mr Smooth piped up ‘You might be feeling exhausted’ – I wished I could have responded in my best tv advert manner ‘ This is not just exhaustion Mr Smooth, this is Marks and Spencer’s exhaustion’. However, I didn’t I just shouted ‘I am effing exhausted’ right outside the barking beagle house – oops. Double oops, I then tried to smile at three tourists and say buongiorno as they’d just heard this bright red mad English woman swear at an unknown foe.
They hurried past and hallelujah, Mr Smooth told me I could stop running now. Except I messed up – often Mr Smooth talks for a little while before the deadline actually arrives, therefore I reckon I stopped about twenty seconds too soon. But I couldn’t have run another step truly.
Not angry, just a bit miffed and big lesson learnt, just because you kicked Lucifer into touch, doesn’t mean smugness can’t trip you up.
And for the statty folk the pic shows the elevation profile.
Colour chart – back to Monarch I am afraid.
Crazy In Love – Beyonce
Chelsea Dagger – The Fratellis
Rock The Casbah – The Clash
Marvin Gaye – Puth and Trainor
Rain on Your Parade – Duffy
Joan of Arc, and Enola Gay – OMD
Let’s Spend The Night Together – David Bowie
Dancing In The Dark and Born to Run – The Boss
Unbelievable – EMF
Parklife – Blur
Help Me Rhonda – Beach Boys
Can You Feel It – Michael Jackson
Average Pace 8.30 mins/km
Originally posted on Health Unlocked 12 August 2017
I can remember thinking that maybe this run didn’t really count because I was about 20 seconds shy of the whole run time. And I sooo wanted it to count. Luckily the C25K crew all said it was fine. I took them at their word and decided this run counted!