11 December – When A Shit Present Turns Out…

… to be one of the best presents you get! Rewind to last Thursday night in Cornwall. We’d seen Young Marx in Plymouth and we’re at N&As home, having a nightcap. At this point we decide to swap our Shit Christmas presents.

This is a tradition with our friends, to spend a small amount of money £10 or less on a present that is useless and makes us laugh. Over the years, we’ve exchanged a penguin-shaped tea service, broken lava lamp, body part shaped keyring, a modesty poncho for outdoors toileting, non-working tools and plenty more besides. This year, we gave N a nano-lego dog kit and A a magnifying glass toenail clipper, whilst Mr JCR was the recipient of an anatomically rude set of corkscrew, bottle opener and stopper and cycling LED lights, the latter will pimp up his very serious road bike.

I, on the other hand (bad pun, sorry) got these little beauties. I bow to no-one in my love of fluoro and bling, when running. We live in a home where bling and fluoro are unknown, so my eccentric running style is utterly at odds with my home style.  But to my delight, (which really wasn’t the point) I now have black running gloves with glowing fingertips. The fingertips remain a cool, calm, collected white during the day. And at night, the fun begins, they change colours fading in and out, they blink and each glove is different, so I can strobe away, causing temporary blindness to oncoming traffic.

Having seen Social Media  go crazy about the advertised VI Poo product – suggesting that it is wholly inappropriate to give a toilet spray as a gift, may I recommend the honourable tradition of giving a ‘shit’ present, instead? It may just be the best present you ever give.

Tomorrow, the blingy babes and I go out for a run!

 

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