Yesterday brought another impromptu aperitivo session in the village bar and reunion of four families, (all of us friends) with the ex-owner of the bar. It was fun, it was loud, and more to the point it was very friendly. Lots of mini conversations going on, including one about my running. The upshot of that, was at 8.30am this morning, the short, chunky dark haired middle aged runner aka Jancanrun was accompanied by fit, tall, young, blonde Dutch sisters who were really keen to come out with me, let’s call them MCP 1 and 2.
You did read that right, 8.30am – in actual fact, I was up and running at about 8.15am, to get in a warmup before my companions arrived. This is two days on the trot when I’ve been up early, something has got to give…:)
As I was doing my warm up in front of the house, I was passed by Lord Kitchener, who I usually see in Lover’s Lane – I did say Salve, but he seemed a bit distant, but then he was walking to the local cemetery and that may have tempered his good mood somewhat. Next up a pedestrian walks past, somewhat bemused at the sight of JCR seemingly doing a security patrol in front of her house. Then Argo came past with his minder, R – she asked me what was I up to and I explained it was a warm up prior to running friends arriving.
Then the JCR running crew arrived, resplendent in proper leggings, trainers and carrying water. For the first time in my running career a JCR run can be described as being run by a molto chic podista – not me of course but both of my statuesque companions – MCPs 1 and 2, in real life known as J&A.
We set off down Mill Lane and I demonstrated my highly technical tiptoe running technique for going up inclines – I think the quietness of my bodyguards said it all – I for sure am no coaching wunderkid. On we went to Lovers’ Lane and past the barking beagle house. Yes they barked, but no none of us jumped in fright. Next up we overtook two walkers with sticks, as you can tell I always choose easy overtaking victims. There’s no point in making life hard for yourself, after all. A quick loop of Villa Bali’s grounds and back up to take on Royston Vasey Ridgeway, which is quite steep even downhill, and does test your muscular control somewhat. Close to Royston Vasey we passed yet another barking dog house. This particular dog sounds big and nasty, but I think in truth, is just a rather cute golden retriever – nonetheless he kicked up a big fuss at me and my glamorous minders as we went past.
Kim Jong Un has his running elite bodyguards and I had two Catwoman type minders – what was lovely was that I didn’t actually feel pressured to run faster than normal or try and do ‘cool running’. Ordinarily when I have an audience I run way too fast, usually trip over and make myself look a complete and utter fool. Mind you today’s pace was so glacial there was no danger of speed or momentum tripping me up. At Royston Vasey, I parted company with my bodyguards, as they wanted a shorter run than me. At this point I still had about half the run to do. Sunday morning runs tends to be quiet as a lot of folk attend Sunday morning mass. Blissfully the sun wasn’t quite as strong as it has been, although I was putting on weight as I ran, due to the humidity in the air, my hair was acting like a sponge, growing like a fuzzy halo and then it escaped its band. Another failed attempt at being a molto chic podista.
I carried onto the fish shop village and almost got taken out by a reversing lorry near to the church. I hurried on, wanting to get the run done and entered Bin Lane. No-one there, – fantastic – I had Bin Lane all to myself so I was able to run where I liked, finding the shady areas to keep me cool. And then, at the final set of bins, I ran past some parked cars and almost got ‘door jacked’ by a little old lady who was exiting the car and flung open her passenger door right into my path. Some nifty footwork and a few choice swear words under my breath and I carried onto to the All Roads Lead To Rome road. It was nice and quiet for a change – spoke too soon JCR as just at that moment of realisation that the road was quiet, then screaming along, came one of the ubiquitous silver Fiat Puntos – its owner had decided runner skittles would be a fun game to play. He came so close it was really quite frightening – I am thinking of investing in Boadicea/Boudicca/(whatever they call her) thrashing blades so if someone tries to take me off the road, then they suffer (as a minimum) severe bodywork damage. This maybe a little over the top in terms of self preservation. But what else can you think of when your bodyguards have run home and left you to fend for yourself, I’m sure Kim Jong Un would do similar. I never thought he and I would have anything in common…
I didn’t listen to most of it as I was being bodyguarded…, but these are the tracks that played once we parted company and I was on my own.
Blasphemous Rumours – Depeche Mode
The Jean Genie – David Bowie
Oh Woman Oh Man – London Grammar
Let’s Spend The Night Together – David Bowie
Planet Earth – Duran Duran
Two Tribes – Frankie Goes To Hollywood
Sign Of the Times – Harry Styles
It’s Called A Heart – Depeche Mode
Modern Way – Kaiser Chiefs
Andy, You’re A Star – The Killers
Average Pace 7:03 mins/km
Elevation Gain – 20 metres
Kms Run 1285.47
Km to do 732.53