It is 8am and I am supposed to be running, except stupid tart syndrome made an appearance and I’d forgotten to charge my phone. This is an issue because I need to track my progress, on the app Map My Run, which to be frank, also suffers from stupid tart syndrome; for example when it decides I’ve run a kilometre in 2 seconds.
I wait the necessary time for my phone to charge and boy what a mistake that was – the temperature has soared to about 26 degrees and it is before 9am. It isn’t going to get any cooler, any day soon, so I suck it up and go out. Today I am on a running upgrade, I have received another water bottle to insert in my Flipbelt – other running belts are available. This enables me to carry 600ml of water in addition to my normal water bottle.
In my mind’s eye, this makes me look like a cross between Ursula Andress appearing from the sea, in her white naval belt, or alternatively the grunting Lara Croft in Tomb Raider, who also has a fab utility belt – oh yes and she was played by Angelina Jolie.
So now you have a pic of a very sexy, Ursula/Angelina combo in your mind, the reality is my Flipbelt is bright pink, and as is well known, I am neither endowed with hips nor a waist, so the water bottles settle around my middle, like ballast on a barge. I also sported the very sexy ‘Whigfield’ pigtails as my Croydon facelift ponytail, hurts my scalp. As you can imagine, an incredibly evocative and memorable look for the good people of Le Marche to witness.
Suitably ballasted, I venture out along Mill Lane – no-one, nada. To Lovers’ Lane – again no-one, nada, except there appears to be an art installation of corrugated cardboard seat and table structures, with verse and pictures tackling racism and immigration. That’s worth a proper look, when I’m not running. Down to the bendy, scary road and it’s all quiet on the Western front, we are in ‘feria’ season and next week sees Ferragosto arrive; pretty much this is the major holiday time for Italians in the summer.
I pass the grungy white tee-shirt from yesterday’s musings and I think I have the answer as to why tee-shirts appear to have been abandoned. The verges had been cut, therefore my theory is that the man takes off his shirt, whilst working in the fields and then it drops in the undergrowth, where it is lost, until re-discovered X months later when the verges are cut.
Down to fish shop village and I overtake one solitary nonna with her shopping trolley. She is the single most interesting thing about this run. Bin Lane, no-one, nothing, zip happened.
But I did do a run, that actually happened, and the Flibbelt bottle upgrade worked absolutely fine.
Playlist
7 Seconds – Youssou N’Dour and Neneh Cherry
Daydream Believer – The Monkees
Have A Nice Day – Stereophonics
Wake Me Up When September Ends – Green Day
What About Us – The Saturdays
New York Minute – Don Henley
Night Fever – Bee Gees
Spring Affair – Donna Summer
Summer of ’69 – Bryan Adams
The Boys Of Summer – Don Henley
Forever Autumn – Jeff Wayne
Hazy Shade of Winter – The Bangles
7 Years – Lukas Graham
Right Here, Right Now – High School Musical Cast
1999 – His Purple Highness
Sunday Girl – Blondie
8 Mile – Eminem
Steppin’ Out – Joe Jackson
I Don’t Like Mondays – Boomtown Rats
Footloose – Kenny Loggins
I’m Gonna be (500 Miles) – The Proclaimers
Sunday Morning – Velvet Underground
Stats
Distance 10.43km
Time 1:19:36
Average Pace 7:37
Elevation Gain 43 metres
Alzheimer’s Challenge
Distance Run 1328.85 kms
Kms to Run 689.15km
