15 August – The Dirty Dozen

I’d more or less decided that August was a write-off after the migraine issue, but I think I can slowly pull back some of the lost kms. We’ve had two days of changeable weather, so the mercury has been dropping for a change. Therefore I had absolutely no excuse for not running today. Okay, get your arse in gear Mrs JCR – ah but I must faff first of all. First delaying tactic – a mug of tea, followed by The Times, clearing out the bins, loading the washing machine, sorting out my water bottles – you get the picture. Me, I’m a veritable genius of prevarication.

The requisite hour of faffing has passed, and I had to go for my run. Usual route, with maybe an extra loop here or there, to get me to a 12km run, if I could. Today’s theme being the film “The Dirty Dozen”, purely and simply because the numbers match.

According to Wikipedia, these are they:-

Name	Number	Portrayed by	Sentence
Posey, S.	1	Clint Walker	Death by hanging
Pinkley, V. L.	2	Donald Sutherland	30 years’ imprisonment
Jefferson, R. T.	3	Jim Brown	Death by hanging
Gilpin, S.	4	Ben Carruthers	30 years’ hard labor
Lever, R.	5	Stuart Cooper	20 years’ imprisonment
Vladek, M.	6	Tom Busby	30 years’ hard labor
Sawyer, S. K.	7	Colin Maitland	20 years’ hard labor
Maggott, A. J	8	Telly Savalas	Death by hanging
Wladislaw, J.	9	Charles Bronson	Death by hanging
Jiminez, J. P.	10	Trini Lopez	20 years’ hard labor
Franko, V. R.	11	John Cassavetes	Death by hanging
Bravos, T. R.	12	Al Mancini	20 years’ hard labor

Kilometre 1 – aka S Posey

This character was a gentle giant, who apparently killed someone by accident, hence his death sentence. My first kilometre takes in Mill Lane – which has a gentle slope, followed by half of Lovers’ Lane. Absolutely no chance of either of them killing me, as it’s too early in the run and I go very slow at this point. S Posey’s fate in the film isn’t clear – Missing in Action is the best guess. And that’s a good summary of my run, no records being set, nothing interesting somewhat Missing In Action too.

Kilometre 2 – VL Pinkley

Stupid and the dumbest member of the team, he dies on the drive of the mansion. Well the second kilometre takes me past the barking beagle house, but the beagles were asleep, so I wasn’t rumbled as I ran past their drive. But just arriving at the peak of the hill that kills, the owner of a local olive oil farm was standing in his drive, saw me and wished me a good run on a good day. Luckily my Italian is sufficiently okay for me to respond to him, so I didn’t look quite as dumb as Pinkley.

Kilometre 3 – R T Jefferson

Played by an American NFL footballer – the only African American of the dozen. He enables the destruction of the mansion by throwing a grenade into the general’s shelter, later mown down by a Nazi gunner. It’s fair to say my third kilometre was not so full of action, a gentle run down the Hill That Kills onto the bendy, scary road, where I didn’t encounter any grenades or similar weaponry. There was an old lady driving a car who seemed to steer towards me, but I think that was just bad driving, not her motorised attempt at being a hand grenade.

Kilometre 4 – S Gilpin

A grinning sociopath, who tackled and climbed onto the roof, fell through and was presumed to have been blown up within the mansion’s explosion. Now I didn’t meet any grinning sociopaths, although I did pass two people picking fruit, one carrying a rather nasty looking hooked stick thing and his wife/partner/whatever was wearing rubber gloves. So maybe I had a lucky escape?

Kilometre 5 – R Lever

A basic felon, who ended up taking the grenades to the chateau , and subsequently fled by motor boat once the dozen had been discovered. He was shot in the chest and fell into the water. No motorboats in sight for me, although I did stop at Royston Vasey for my traditional water stop and although the awkward fridge played up and wobbled a bit, I did escape from there with my life.

Kilometre 6 – M Vladek

His crime unknown; in the film he was ordered to kill the Germans and release the French and appeared to be reluctant to do that – he was eventually killed by a Nazi sniper. My sixth kilometre was a lonesome affair, I only met one cyclist who overtook me and I think he said we were cousins…, but he was talking in dialect, so I must have got that wrong! I was nicely in my stride at this point, no reluctance to continue marred my run. I didn’t need a commanding office to give me my orders, I kept going and it was fine.

Kilometre 7 – SK Sawyer

Another ‘crime unknown’ character, he performed the same duties as R Lever, but was shot first in the motorboat, when fleeing the scene. Kilometre number seven, saw me well on my way to fish shop village, at this point I’d guzzled down my bottle of water so had to stop for a water refill, as most of my water had trickled out of my ill-sealed spare bottle. Basic stupidity cost me my water, whilst basic bad luck cost Sawyer his life.

Kilometre 8 – A J Maggott

Played by Telly Savalas, a supposedly religious man who rids the world of evil. He gets rumbled when hiding in a bedroom, turns on the rest of the ‘dozen’ and is subsequently killed by R T Jefferson. Now going through fish shop village, I had no need to hide from anyone, as there’s hardly a soul around, and I feel no pressing need to rid the world of evil – although I’m not awfully keen on Donald Trump… 😉

Kilometre 9 – J Wladislaw

Charles Bronson – playing a guy who had killed a medic (who was running off with much needed supplies); he is one of the few characters that made it to the end of the film alive, although he did get shot in the leg. At this point, I was on Bin Lane, nicely in shade and both my legs were working fine thanks. No hospital treatment required.

Kilometre 10 – J P Jiminez

Not a character who lasted very long, he made his parachute jump in Brittany and broke his neck in an apple tree. His death was the catalyst for a number of significant role changes by each of the remaining ‘dozen’.  Bin Lane doesn’t have any apple trees as far as I can see, so I had no need to change my running plans.

Kilometre 11 – V R Franko

In the film he refuses to shave in cold water and hence he and the rest of the dozen were refused shaving and washing supplies, leading to their nickname. At the eleventh kilometre I was on the all roads lead to Rome road, which given the traffic often leads to a close shave. However, today is Ferragosto and a national holiday, therefore not much traffic, and so I wasn’t in a cold sweat wondering if today is the day a car/bus/lorry/bike/coach hits me.

Kilometre 12 – T R Bravos

Standing a little over 5 feet, he was the shortest character in the film. Standing a touch more over 5 feet I am the lead character in today’s run. At this stage, I was close to the cafe stop and in need of some sustenance. Bravos dies in a foxhole, I was just dying of thirst. Job done – the dirty dozen completed.

Playlist

Kung Fu Fighting – Carl Douglas

Shang A Lang – Bay City Rollers

Sugar Baby Love – The Rubettes

War – Edwin Starr

Gonna Make You A Star – David Essex

Everybody Dance – Chic

All The Young Dudes – Mott The Hoople

Sylvia’s Mother – Dr Hook

I Feel Love – Donna Summer

So You Win Again – Hot Chocolate

Freeze-Frame – J Geils Band

You Won’t Find Another Fool Like Me – The New Seekers

Lady Marmalade – Patti LaBelle

Boogie Oogie Oogie – A Taste Of Honey

Silver Lady – David Soul

You To Me Are Everything – The Real Thing

Night Fever – Bee Gees

You’re The One That I Want – Travolta and Newton-John

Metal Guru – T.Rex

D.I.S.C.O – Ottawan

Blockbuster – Sweet

See My Baby Jive – Wizzard

Summer Breeze – The Isley Brothers

Stats

Distance 12.06km

Time 1:23:11

Average Pace 6:53

Elevation Gain 55 metres

Alzheimer’s Challenge

Kms Run 1355.18 (it took a little while, but now I am more than 2/3rds of the distance done, approximately 2 weeks before being 2/3rds through the year)

Kms to Do 662.82