Paula & Jan Go Shopping With Mr Smooth – Week 8 Run 3

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Paula is taking the piss, if you pardon the pun. Her problem is my problem and after two days her problem is lessening, but not gone yet. Tuesday is fish shopping day, and Mr JCR laughed when he saw my novel approach to carrying my shopping bag.

Weird – me????

This is a prototype solution, carrying it in my bra gives me three boobs, and I don’t like putting shopping in a sweaty bag. I have tried stuffing it in the card pocket of my leggings, but it looks as though I’ve got an unfortunate growth. Similarly stuffing it in my sleeves of my top looks dodgy too – I look like a one armed Popeye style bodybuilder.

Today’s run is the last in Week 8, onto graduation week next. And the attaching of my bag to my shoes, gave me an idea for my run. Paula and I would take Mr Smooth on a virtual shopping trip and see if we could get enough ingredients for dinner and maybe some items for a hobby, now that we are in lockdown and are supposedly focussing on cooking, DIY and crafting, if the tv channels are to be believed.

Yes, I know, I do have some rather bizarre thought processes whilst out running, but it does keep my mind occupied and avoids the how fast/slow, how long to go, questions that pop up when you’re building up stamina.

Now, I am very fortunate in that we live extraordinarily close to Cheapside in the City of London, and Cheapside used to be Chepe meaning market, so it’s not that big of a stretch to find some grocery shopping appropriate routes.

First off, the warm up walk, we are just around the corner from Silk Street – that’s the hobby angle sorted – I can do virtual dress-making. Then aiming towards Cheapside, I run through Milk Street and hot on its heels, Bread Street  – that’s  a virtual breakfast sorted, followed by Bow Lane. Mmm, I suppose it could go into the dressmaking basket, or maybe I could take up violin lessons, for which I’d need a bow. Or maybe try a new sport and take up virtual archery, but as someone who is chronically spatially challenged, that would be quite dangerous for anyone in the vicinity, so I think we’ll leave it at dressmaking, as my musical talent is pretty non existent too.

A bit of a detour takes me to Poultry, which is not specific enough to satisfy today’s menu, we had chicken on Sunday, I’m not over-keen on turkey and whilst we had guinea fowl last week, I’m not sure I want it again tonight. At Poultry I wasn’t quite flying along, but it was a nice comfortable pace and decided to head even further East for some more foodie goodies.

On the way to Monument, passing Fish Street Hill reminded me that I did need to go to Islington for our fish tonight. And then onto the famous Pudding Lane – again a bit too generic to really satisfy the ingredient test, but a good hint for me not to forget the sweet stuff on my shopping list. I came across Lime Street, which I thought would be good with a pre-dinner Gin and Tonic, but I couldn’t find anything alcohol related at all, so we will have to stick with the G & T from home. Considering East London was renowned for its gin distilleries, I was quite disappointed I didn’t find a Juniper Lane, or Genever Street  or similar.

Now after dinner, you should either have mints or coffee or a digestif, I could only find Camomile Street, so I guess that will be a herbal tea for after dinner then. (Thank God, this is virtual shopping, I tried camomile tea once and it’s horrid…)

Still the thorny issue of a pudding to satisfy and I noticed that whilst Paula and I had been merrily traipsing and doing our window shopping, Mr Smooth was suspiciously quiet. I checked him out, sure enough at some point in the run, the app had frozen, so I didn’t really know how long I’d been running for. Curses, the challenge of virtual shopping had made me forget the most important task the list, to complete  a 28 minutes interval. I had been monitoring my run with Map My Run and robotic lady informed me I’d been running for 33 minutes, which is not quite integrated to the C25K app, so I guessed I needed to do another 5 or 6 minutes to complete the interval.

I decided the best thing to do was to head out of the City and towards the fish shop in Islington, glancing down I noticed the shopping bag had stayed perfectly in place. At this point inspiration struck, I knew that in Clerkenwell  there is a street called Berry Street and that it was more or less on the way to Islington High Street. Berries would be a perfectly acceptable pudding.

And so more or less 45 minutes had elapsed after starting my shopping run, I’d got a virtual menu, started a new virtual hobby, and learnt that you can tie a shopping bag to your trainers.

You do get funny looks at the fishmongers when you are grovelling on the floor to untie it from your trainers, but all in all it worked well. Paula made her presence know just as I got home and our concierge was telling me a story. At this stage I wasn’t running, but I was grimacing a bit and holding on for dear life. Paula this is enough,  for next week’s runs I need to be focussed, please p… off.


About 8km run/walked

I hope I did the 28 minute interval

A breakfast obtained

Dinner menu sorted

A new hobby under my belt

Staved off Paula’s revenge attack


Usual, squats, crabby stuff, bridge, pelvic thrusting, hip flexors, toe touching, yawn, yawn, yawn.


I should have a food and drink playlist, but I don’t so I played

Country and Places Playlist

And there was one food related track – Boston Tea Party by the Sensational Alex Harvey Band.





4 thoughts on “Paula & Jan Go Shopping With Mr Smooth – Week 8 Run 3

  • Hahaha…this has me laughing Jan…picturing you stuffing your shopping bag in various places…I love it on your show though, what a good idea?! I loved going on this run with you Jan…and yes, a food and drink playlist sound good!! I miss you compiling a playlist xx


    • Well – week 9 is coming up, so I thought I’d probably resurrect the playlist requests once I’ve got through graduation… But it’s a tough week it’s my dad’s birthday next week and depending on timing I may end up doing my run on his birthday. I thought my shopping bag idea was genius too and I must admit to being somewhat surprised that it stayed on! But it helps keep me going out just once a day if I can carry my shopping bag when I run… So I will see you on HU, once I’ve got Week 9 done… Thanks for popping in XX


  • Once again I enjoyed tagging along on your run! Trying to imagine your bulging, bag biceps & def feeling your desperation when Paula joined you at the end (it’s usually trying to get my door unlocked when she joins me…!)… and I learned something too, “Cheapside used to be Chepe meaning market” – there is a Cheapside in Ascot, near me, & I have always wondered how it got its name… Good luck for next week – you’ll smash it! xxx


    • Thanks a lot – Paula has a companion today… Paula and her pony – yes I’ve got the trots. If this is karma I must have been some dreadful person in an earlier life!


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