17 Mar – Tangoed at St Paul’s


Mr JCR contacted Alzheimer’s Research to tell them about the 2018km challenge I am undertaking and they duly provided a tasteful tee-shirt for me.

Here I am this morning braving The Beast from the East Part 2 – the bulge around my middle is the hidden pouch pocket, stuffed full of middle aged woman’s essentials – namely tissues for the ever-present running nose.

Witnessed by our friends N&A, there weren’t that many people around to be bothered by the picture taking or the video of me looking at my most inelegant.

Today’s run 11km+

I met 3 other runner’s similarly attired all who gave a cheery wave  – Londoners aren’t that friendly normally.

An articulated lorry stopped to allow me to cross a junction even though it was his right of way.

Two hi-vis men allowed me to pass near a building site

The Beast from the East Part 2, has brought both snow and a flurry of good manners today.


Get Dancin’ – Disco Tex & His Sex -O-Lettes

I Won’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me – Nik Kershaw

It’s Raining Men – The Weather Girls

Temptation – Heaven 17

Night Fever – Bee Gees

Love’s Unkind – Donna Summer

She Sells Sanctuary – The Cult

All She Wants Is – Duran Duran

All Stood Still – Ultravox

Baggy Trousers – Madness

Be My Number Two – Joe Jackson

Beat Crazy – ditto

Breaking Us In Two – ditto

Blasphemous Rumours – Depeche Mode

Do You Really Want to Hurt Me – Culture Club

Don’t You Want Me – Human League

Dreaming -OMD

Einstein A go-Go – Landscape

Electric Barbarella – Duran Duran

Electricity – OMD


Distance 11.58km

Time 1:14:55

Average pace 6:28 (mins/km)

Elevation Gain 83 metres

Alzheimer’s Challenge

Kms Done 454.92

Kms to Do 1563.08

Team Rhomboid Torture

I think he’s taking a break – so squats and something tempting with kettlebells will have to happen.




14 Mar – Things Can Only Get Better


As D:Ream sang in the 90s  and on my playlist today. Actually I’m not sure they can. I am keeping up my 3% placing in the global challenge run by Under Armour – now up to 144,000 folk worldwide.

The leaderboard is still full of cheating profiles too, but realistically I don’t think I can go any higher. Looking at real people, as opposed to some of the bullshit profiles, it’s clear there are some ultra runners who drop 50 miles as a fun run.

I can’t see me ever thinking of 50 miles as a fun run – that’s a car journey.

Things could get better if only I could grow my legs. I was on the South Bank and a fellow runner loped towards me – his legs were at least as high as the Eiffel Tower and I looked at his stride length. Blimey, I reckon one of his was at last four of mine. If I had his legs, I reckon this challenge would be significantly easier proportionately.

I have checked out whether it is possible to extend your stride length and it is do-able, but takes time and can be problematical, so I better continue with my little baby steps.

So D:Ream how about changing that first verse from

You can walk my path
You can wear my shoes
Learn to talk like me and be an angel too


I can’t run your path
I can’t wear your shoes
I have little legs and am very short too


Get Here – Oleta Adams

Don’t Need The Sunshine – Catatonia

Say My Name – Destiny’s Child

Lose Yourself – Eminem

Love Is All Around – The Wets

Barbie Girl – Aqua

Baby One More Time – Britney Spears

I Will Always Love You – Whitney Houston

Wannabe – Spice Girls

Never Ever – AllSaints

The Power – SNAP

3am Eternal, Blue Danube Orbital  – The KLF

Would I Lie To You – Charles and Eddie

Return Of The Mack – Mark Morrison

Move Any Mountain – The Shamen

I See You Baby – Groove Armada

Things Can Only Get Better – D:Ream


Distance 9.20km

Time 1:03:50

Average Pace 6:56 (mins/km)

Elevation Gain 60 metres

Face Colour: Salsa Red

Alzheimer’s Challenge

Kms Run 430.03

Kms to Do 1587.97

Thanks To Caroline for her sponsorship which brings my fundraising achievement up to 35% of my target.

Team Rhomboid Torture

15 lunges left and right
10 Hollow Rocks
10 Leg Raises

3 times

That is his commandment, what I can actually achieve will be different.

An hour later…

I did all the lunges

I did 1 Hollow Rock and 7 Hollow Bodies (not sets, individuals – I find these very difficult, not having a core at all)

I did 20 leg raises, holding for 10 seconds.






13 Mar – Goosing, Rowing and Running


From a 24 hour rest, to a run. Today was reasonably clear and I had some errands to do. First off run to the Post Office to post my nearly-god-daughter’s birthday present. It’s late for her birthday, so it is a really good job I am not an official god-mother, as I would have failed officially.  But then I’ve failed miserably at the ‘nearly’ part too. Sorry M – will do better!

At the Post Office, I was asked rather randomly if I had thought about the need for life assurance. I assured him I had thought about it and come to the conclusion I didn’t need any. He then assured me that we all need it, as you never know what is around the corner. Being polite, I thanked him for considering me and then continued my run out and around the literal corner, rather than his metaphorical one. In a lot of retail outlets, you come across the ‘art’ of the cross-sell, our most random one was when buying a shaving stypstick for Mr JCR at the grand expenditure of about £2, I was asked would I like to buy the latest Rihanna perfume at £40+.  I pointed out that I can’t stand Ri-ri, so would never buy her perfume, he then asked if we’d consider buying the gentlemen’s eau de cologne, Armani Code…. Aargghh what training are you giving staff if you think you can get a customer to up their spend from £2 to £40+? Maybe we just have  ‘cross-sell willing’ looks on our faces, or he thought I looked like I had a shelf full of sleb smellies…. Yup that’s me – Britney Shitney. Dirty Aguilera, Beckham from Peckham etc. Love them all.

Me and my ‘cross-sell’ face trucked down to Fleet Street, along the Strand and towards Westminster. A quick scoot along the South Bank and I came across two geese nestling cosily near Tate Modern. Crossing the wobbly bridge back to the North Bank, there was a 24 hour rowathon being performed in aid of the London Air Ambulance. Two geese being very lazy and three human beings being very active indeed. I was at about the 9km mark at this stage, so continued my run to my fish shop, so make sure I did more than 10km. Fish bought, wrapped and run home. This time I ran with the mute company of sea bass, a crab and some smoked salmon. And no, the fishmonger didn’t cross-sell me anything, just sold me what I asked for and that was it. Bliss.


All She Wants Is – Duran Duran

Go Wild In the Country – Bow Wow Wow

She Sells Sanctuary – The Cult

Is Vic There? – Department S

Somewhere In My Heart – Aztec Camera

Personal Jesus – Depeche Mode

Say My Name – Destiny’s Child

Nothing Compares 2 U – Sinead O’Connor

Dub Be Good To Me – Beats International

The Power – SNAP

Killer – Adamski, Seal

The Joker – Steve Miller Band

The One And Only – Chesney Hawkes

Dizzy – Vic Reeves & The Wonder Stuff

Ebeneezer Goode – The Shamen

End Of The Road – Boyz II Men

Oh Carolina – Shaggy

Dreams – Gabrielle

Gangsta’s Paradise – Coolio

Return Of The Mack – Mark Morrison

Move Any Mountain – The Shamen

I See You Baby – Groove Armada

Groove Is In The Heart – Deee Lite

Devotion – Nomad

The Key The Secret – Urban Cookie Collective

Things Can Only Get Better – D:Ream

Everybody’s Free – Rozalla


Distance 13.61 km

Time 1:15:47 (This is wrong my phone kept conking out)

Average Pace – no idea due to the Time issue

Elevation Gain 89 metres

Alzheimer’s Challenge

Kms Done 420.8

Kms to Do 1597.2 (yes – less than 1600s)

Team Rhomboid Torture

Not posted anything yet, so I will do some squats and press-ups…






10 Mar – Whopping 400 from Wapping


I had a job to do, to get to 400km this weekend if I could by Sunday night. Being tech savvy now, I had plotted a route to take me on a circular route that according to the route wizard would match the km limit specified. I’d identified 17km as being possible (although unlikely).

This morning I opened up the route which for some reason seemed to have morphed into a 25km run. Okay not so tech savvy then…

I decided to run freestyle. Having had lots of wintery runs, I actually felt Spring was on its way, as the running jacket was opened up at the 2km mark. Going towards the Tower of London, loads and loads of tourists there – I continued to Wapping to the Narrow pub – just as a milestone. Unfortunately, I got slightly distracted and paused my phone when in St Katherine’s Dock for the inevitable middle aged lady nose blowing, so my distance and timing stats were all over the place – I’d apparently run a 2minute km at one stage. The distance was estimated but I was wiggling around Wapping and the phone straightened my run – so I think I ran more than recorded. Hey ho, definitely not tech savvy me…

At the Narrow pub, I started a new run to come home and it occurred to me that if I could just hold on a bit, I might be able to make the 400km mark in today’s run. I came across 2 Ross Kemp lookalikes – walking in tandem exactly like the Hofmeister bear adverts. A bit of a Cockney roll to their walk. My run was somewhat more laboured, but I held on and around the Barbican area, realised if I did a  quick detour, I could probably do the 400km mark. And I did,  by a sneaky, tiny margin of 0.5km but it all counts.


Off The Wall – Michael Jackson

I Feel Good – James Brown

Let’s Dance – Chris Montez

Band Of Gold – Freda Payne

Be Young, Be Foolish, Be Happy – The Tams

Ain’t No Stopping Us Now –  Jimmy James & The Vagabonds

Good Times – Chic

Stoned Love – The Supremes

Shake Your Groove Thing – Peaches & Herb

Club Tropicana – Wham

The Only Way Is Up – Yazz

You Spin Me Round – Dead Or Alive

Is Vic There? – Department S

Get Dancin’ – Disco Tex & His Sex-O-Lettes

See You – Depeche Mode

Personal Jesus – Ditto

The Reflex – Duran Duran

She Sells Sanctuary – The Cult

People Are People – Depeche Mode

Two Tribes – Frankie Goes To Hollywood

Gold – Spandau Ballet

New Moon On Monday – Duran Duran

Go Wild In The Country – Bow Wow Wow

Love’s Unkind – Donna Summer

Do You Really Want To Hurt Me – Culture Club

Is Vic There? – Department S


Distance 15.21km

Time 1:45:37

Elevation Gain 36 metres

Alzheimers Challenge

Kms Done 400.5

Kms To Do 1617.5

Team Rhomboid Torture

It’s a day of rest – hurrah!






9 March – The Last of My Monopolysing

Unlike the actual board game, my last  Monopoly square run had to be utilities and the ‘gas’ company, as I’d not come across any in my previous Monopoly runs.  The only option seemed to be the old fashioned gas tanks/holders, that used to be a common sight around London. The two I could remember on Regents Canal are no more and so the  nearest equivalent was the newly created Gasholder Park in Kings Cross, in which some luxury apartment blocks are being framed by the renovated old gas holders.

Please pardon the pun, this was a utility run, all about getting the ‘square’ done and doing 10km if I could. Having had a rest day yesterday, I needed to be putting in a good run, as we have another short break in Spain coming up. This time to the Alhambra in Granada, with our very good friends N&A. I’m sure they won’t want to be waiting for me to run every day, so I am trying to get a few kms in the bank, before we go.

Coldish, grey day today and from the City to Kings Cross, not the most salubrious nor enjoyable of routes, despite the ongoing gentrification of the area.

Run done, fish collected and yet another 3km run home carrying fish – my fishmonger Robby is utterly perplexed at the madness of it, and he asked ‘do you think you are getting any fitter?’ to which I replied that I hoped so. But maybe my very red face on entering the shop, is suggesting otherwise.


Sign Your Name – Terence Trent D’Arby

Reap The Wild Wind – Ultravox

Two Tribes – Frankie Goes To Hollywood

Blue Monday – New Order

Everything Must Go – Manic Street Preachers

Marvin Gaye – Puth and Traynor

By The Way – Red Hot Chilis

Mony Mony – Billy Idol

True Faith – 94 – New Order

Common People – Pulp

Is She Really Going Out With Him – Joe Jackson

Walk Like An Egyptian – The Bangles

Blasphemous Rumours – Depeche Mode

Born To Run – The Boss

Scooby Snacks – Fun Loving’ Criminals

Enola Gay – OMD

Talking Loud And Clear – Ditto

Planet Earth – Duran Duran

People Are People – Depeche Mode

Girl From Mars – Ash


Distance 10.25km

Time 1:16:57

Average Pace 7:30 (mins/km)

Elevation Gain 53 metres

Alzheimers Challenge

Kms Run 385.3 (trying to get over 400 kms this weekend)

Kms To Do 1632.7

Visit my fundraising page on BT MyDonate

Team Rhomboid Torture

10 Lunges

10 Knee/Leg Raises

10 Hollow Rocks

All of which sounds do-able to me (well my hollow rock is rubbish but I can do hollow bodies – just not 10 of them)

Except then I read on and it was repeat 3 times.

So I repeated this mantra – the man is a monster, the man is a monster, the man is a monster…

2 hours later – 3 sets of lunges done! 3 sets of knee raises done. 1 set of hollow body done – holding for 10 seconds. I flaked< I couldn’t do the rocking. Ho hum.

4 Mar – Going Posh Up West

The last two official squares of the Monopoly board were on my list today, taking me to Mayfair and Park Lane. Only the gas company to go, it has been suggested I look for a gas tank somewhere in central London, that one will be the last of my Monopoly challenge before we return to Italy.

It was grey but warmish today, and I ran down Shaftesbury Avenue, towards Chinatown and Piccadilly, heading up Clarges Street towards Park Lane. And there it is in all its glory  in my third photo. Such a grotty road really, yet with such a glamorous reputation.

Next onto Mayfair – which is not a road just an area so I chose a view of Grosvenor St, as the Grosvenor family own most of Mayfair.

On the way back I scooted through Covent Garden and Holborn and saw the Aston Martin parked in Lincoln’s Inn Fields. Now forgive me, but if you can actually afford an Aston Martin do you really need a registration plate ‘YES 1AML’ – which I am guessing is meant to signify yes I own an Aston Martin. We know you do – it’s parked on the side of the road.  So in the self congratulatory vein my registration plate for today’s run is ‘YES I4K’

But the true achievement today was by our friend Abi, who when the Bath half marathon was cancelled today, still went out and ran a half marathon, but all on her own. Wow she deserves ‘YES 21K’, maybe the owner of YES 1 AML might oblige by buying it.


7 Seconds – Youssou N’Dour

New York Minute – Don Henley

Have A Nice Day – Stereophonics

What About Us – The Saturdays and Sean Paul

Night Fever – Bee Gees

Spring Affair – Donna Summer

Dancing In The Dark – The Boss

Summer of ’69 – Bryan Adams

The Boys Of Summer – Don Henley

Forever Autumn – Jeff Wayne, Richard Burton, Justin Hayward

Winter Melody – Donna Summer

7 Years – Lukas Graham

Right Here, Right Now – Vanessa Hudgens, Zac Efron

1999 – His Purple Highness

Disco 2000 – Pulp

Ruby Tuesday – The Rolling Stones

8 Mile – Eminem

Steppin’ Out – Joe Jackson

Step On – Happy Mondays

Footloose – Kenny Loggins

Fall At Your Feet – Crowded House

Sunday Morning – The Velvet Underground

Second Hand News – Fleetwood Mac


Distance 14.47km

Time 1:42:06

Average Pace 7:03 (mins/km)

Elevation Gain 73 metres

Alzheimer’s Challenge

Kms Done 356.5km

Kms To Do 1661.5km

Team Rhomboid Torture

12 burpees to do and squats – yuck….



3 March – There Was A Middle Aged Woman

St Olav’s Church

Called Jan

Who created an audacious plan

In 2018 there is 2018 km to run

Who knew if it could be done?

She has 365 days to do it

But must remain very strong and fit

Her target for today

Was to run just 10k

In and around London City

Although the roads were all gritty

The Beast from the East had gone

Of snow there was none

I got out the door

And managed 10.4

That’s all to say

Tomorrow is another day


Chocolate Girl – Deacon Blue

So You Win Again – Hot Chocolate

Push The Button – Sugababes

Strawberry Fields Forever – The Beatles

Raspberry Beret – His Purple Highness

Cream – Ditto

Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This – Eurhythmics

Sad Sweet Dreamer – Sweet Sensation

Boogie Oogie Oogie  – Taste Of Honey

Cake By The Ocean – DNCE

I’m The Fat Man – King Pleasure & The Biscuit Boys

Salt Peanuts – Charlie Parker/ Dizzy Gillespie

Ice Cream Man – Blur

I Want Candy – Bow Wow Wow

You Got The Love – Candi Staton and The Source

Ice Ice Baby – Vanilla Ice


Distance 10.40km


Average Pace 6:09 (mins/km)

Elevation Gain 44 metres

Alzheimer’s Challenge

Kms Run 342.1

Kms to do 1675.9

Team Rhomboid Torture

I have burpees from yesterday to do and I can’t even do one…. I have to target a minimum of 6. If I can do 6 burpees, then I am not doing the squats. There is a limit!