4 Nov – Slip Slidin’ Away

 

These words are kindly borrowed from Mr Paul Simon. The first verse actually goes:-

Slip slidin’ away
Slip slidin’ away
You know the nearer your destination
The more you’re slip slidin’ away

And that is what is happening to me, – I am getting ever closer to running the year, but the run pace is eluding me. I think too much effort and not enough focussed training, before I started this challenge is now probably starting to bite. I find I can’t run fast even if I want to. For sure, unless you are an elite athlete, there’s a trade off between speed and distance. I’m not beating myself up about it, just observing I can’t have both.

With that in mind I set out this morning, having looked at the weather forecast which said Arnhem was at 1 degree – can’t be true I thought, then I saw the frost – aha looks like the forecast was accurate after all…  I set out on tarmac trails today, having in mind to run to Osterbeek which is about 5kms away, on a slower pace. However the famous JCR satnav kicked in and I was actually running in the opposite direction. I decided therefore to do a run I’d enjoyed last year, which was to go to the Arnhem War Memorial and Cemetery. I wrote about this last year – the Brits are popular in this area because of Operation Market Garden, and the cemetery is in lovely tranquil spot and makes me stop and think.

My trail today was uppy and downy, as was my pace. I was passed and accompanied by many a runner today, all of us in hats and gloves and long running tights. For my first 2km I ran towards the Burgher’s Zoo, where already folk were queuing to get in. I took my photo of the rather cute rhino and continued on. It was at this point I realised my JCR satnav was awry, and I made my way back from whence I came.

By now the sun was a little stronger and the frost was melting, as was my resolve to do 10km. The gremlins had made their way onto my shoulder and a 5km run out seemed tempting, not least because of the thought of an excellent breakfast back at J &G’s.

Nonetheless I set my steelometer to a higher setting than wimp, and continued on my way. So many people out and about on a very cold Autumn morning, some on bikes – the classic Dutch shopping types, then I got passed by at least two groups of MAMIL racers, but very respectful.

At the memorial park and cemetery, a number of folk had started to assemble and were looking at the graves. Somehow it didn’t seem quite right to be there in my dayglo hat and running gear, so I maintained a respectful distance. Then my fruit based technology started giving me a minor heart attack, saying it only had 13% battery left. A frantic closing down of apps ensued and I retraced my steps back home.

At Restaurant Trix my eyes were playing tricks on me, I thought I saw my friend J running towards me, but no, just another tall lady in dayglo.

My run was done, and just a touch over 11km. Slow, but sure, so I may be slip slidin’ away from speed, but I’m slipping inexorably to that target.

Playlist

Famous names list

Michael Caine – Madness

There’s A Guy Works Down the Chip Shop Swears He’s Elvis – Kirsty MacColl

Bette Davis Eyes – Kim Carnes

Geronimo – Sheppard

Grace Kelly – Mika

Joan of Arc (Maid Of Orleans) – OMD

Just Like Jesse James – Cher

Free Nelson Mandela – Soweto Singers

Clint Eastwood – Gorillaz

Prince Charming – Adam And The Ant

Bruce Lee – Robbie Williams

Andy Warhol – David Bowie

Black Man Ray – China Crisis

Electric Barbarella – Duran Duran

Barbie Girl – Aqua

Walks Like Rihanna – The Wanted

Moves Like Jagger – Maroon 5

Wood Beez (Pray Like Aretha Franklin) – Scritti Politti

Axel F – Harold Faltermeyer

Jackie Wilson Said – Dexy’s Midnight Runners

Frank Sinatra – Cake

The Ballad of Tom Jones – Space and Cerys Matthews

Michaela Strachan – Scouting For Girls

Marilyn Monroe – Pharrell

Al Capone – Prince Buster

Victoria – The Kinks

Stats

Distance 11.69km

Time 1:31:25

Average Pace 7:49

Elevation Gain 96 metres

Alzheimer’s Challenge

Kms Run 1774.91

Kms To Run 243.09

 

 

 

2 Nov – Sausages & Pancakes

 

It’s 9 degrees people. Last time I ran it was about 19, my little legs are a tad cold and my fingers are wondering what’s happened. This is my first run in Arnhem as we are here for a few days with our very dear friends J & G.

J is the super fast runner (in my dreams I run as fast as her…) and G is a world renowned Project Manager, full of helpful hints and tips. G’s tips however are probably more useful for his wife, as she possesses common-sense and a sense of direction, whilst I possess neither… This morning’s run was a planned 10km if I could, in the local woods on the rather lovely forest trails. This is the same place where J once saw a naked man running. With my nudeometer finely tuned, I set out.

I am of course a tarmac runner usually and the leafy, squidgy trails with hidden tree roots provided me with a bit of a challenge, as I’m not always surefooted. Add to the fact that I got out of bed on the wrong side, as we say in England. I was fine mood-wise but after all my running this year, I seemed to struggle to lace up my trainers correctly. Four attempts to do this and I was like Bambi on ice trying to get my shoes not too tight nor too loose.

Clearly the trainer gremlins were out to get me this morning, as I was also suffering from the well known runners’ ailment ‘Sausage Sock’. One of my socks had lost its elasticity and kept on travelling down my foot to form a sock sausage under the arch. This is not comfortable or runnable either. In the first km I stopped at least 3 times to de-sausage my sock. This is not an easy thing to do in a squidgy forest trail, as you have to find non -damp and raised areas to rest your foot.

Km 2 came and went – another 2 de-sausaging efforts and by now I was getting seriously irritated. At 3kms in I made a life-changing decision (for the sock that is) the sock was committing sock suicide, and therefore today it would be its last run. You know how it is, if someone or something is letting you down, you have to have the conversation..

The one that begins with ‘As a person/sock/trainer/sweatshirt, I love you very much and you have so much to offer, just not to me. It’s time to say our goodbyes’. I had this conversation with my sock in the forest – obviously I had the chat in my head, I didn’t want the locals thinking I was some kind of weirdo. Having said my goodbyes to the sausaging sock, I settled into a nice running routine. Arnhem is one of the few places in Holland with hills as my middle photo proves it. It also has to be said that at this point the sausaging sock had calmed down a bit and wasn’t sausaging quite so much.

G had been very helpful on where I could run, but my inbuilt sat nav is somewhat dodgy. As I was running I felt I knew exactly where their house was and then I checked MapMyRun to find that their house was nowhere near where I thought I was. Oops…

At 5km I came across a Dutch Pancake house, which to be honest looked awfully tempting and had I actually gone out carrying money, then I’m pretty certain I’d have popped in for a pancake rather than continuing running. I continued with my run, being passed and occasionally overtaken by various Dutch giants. I’m just a bit under 5 foot 4 inches, which is a little less than the UK female average. However in Holland I am most definitely a munchkin. What was worse at one point I was a lost munchkin. Forest trails can be a bit disorientating – well okay for most people they’re not, but for me they are. It was with some relief I saw a main road and I followed it towards home. I could see a landmark I knew and decided I’d take a well known short cut back to J&G’s house. Only I could take a well known short cut, turn it into a long cut and get lost in the grounds of a sports club…, necessitating a 180 degree turn to go back exactly where I’d come from.

Truthfully JCR you are useless.

But I got the 10km done, it wasn’t fast and for that my excuses are:-

  1. Trail running – just not used to it
  2. Getting lost – necessitating frequent checkpoints
  3. De-sausaging my sock

Playlist

He Won’t Go – Adele

He’ll Have To Go – Bryan Ferry

Heartbreak Hotel – Elvis

Heat Wave – The Jam

Heathen – David Bowie

Hello – Oasis

Hello Goodbye – The Beatles

Help Me – Bryan Ferry

Help Me Rhonda – The Beach Boys

Help Yourself – Amy Winehouse

Blood Brothers – The Boss

Shell Shock – New Order

Babies – Pulp

He Won’t Go – Adele

My Life – Dido

It Must Be Love – Madness

I Still Haven’t Found What I’m looking For – U2

The Supermen – David Bowie

Statistics

Distance 10.05km

Time 1:20:54

Average Pace 8:02

Elevation Gain – 75 metres (yes I know in Holland!!!!)

De-Sausaging Sock – 12 times, maybe more

Nudeometer Reading – no naked men, just my naked foot from time to time

Pancakes – none eaten

Alzheimer’s Challenge

Kms Done 1763.22

Kms To Run 254.78

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

30 Oct – Ciao Italia

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Today is my last day in Italy for 2018

 

Saturday Run – Done and Written Up

Sunday – 25 people for lunch – utter carnage – wonderful!

Monday – clear up the carnage – not so wonderful… 😦

Tuesday – Must Run, as we are leaving Italy tomorrow and travelling to Holland.

It’s warmish and I have timeish to go running, so I do. Okay, planning is all when going for a run. Perhaps it would be helpful to have noted down when your lady cleaner is coming to help you clean up the house before leaving.

I finish my warm-up, run towards Mill Land and a car is coming towards me, the driver waves. So do I, the driver stops and shouts ‘Jan, have you forgotten I am coming at 9am?’ – ah yes I have indeed forgotten.

A run back to the house to get that organised and then a slight panic sets in, I have agreed to meet Mr JCR later on at a specified time and place after my run is finished. Frantic, if confused exchange of messages, leave the lady cleaner behind and restart the run. Onto Mill Lane and Villa Bali, after the confusion at Villa JCR, all is quiet and tranquil. I appear to have my slow legs on today, and in truth it’s a bit of a plod. I do find if I take a couple of days rest, then my pace suffers as a consequence. At the 3km mark, I am wondering if my legs have enough stuffing to do 10km.

I have a 60s inspired soundtrack to help me – although some of the tracks are as slow as I am, which is not good for speeding up. I aim towards the Bendy, Scary Road and it’s still quiet, I see the happy, smiley lady and she nods. This is the sum total of excitement on the run today. My route takes me through Royston Vasey, and no-one is around – it’s difficult to say your goodbyes when everyone has disappeared from view.

At just over 7km, I turn off into War Of The World’s Lane and at last I see a real live human being. Two of them in fact, but one is a young guy helping a much older guy to do a gentle walk. We exchange ‘Salves’ and I move on. I am back in the wilderness again, running on my own, listening to 60s music and the gentle thud of my feet. I’d really hoped to be able to say good bye to a few of the usual folk I see, but I guess I will have to settle for saying ‘hello’ next year. I do hope Anouska and Albino, Babbo Natale and Dame Duvet have a lovely winter. this is my last Italian run for 2018, if I am lucky I will do two(possibly three) runs in Holland before returning home to London, to finish the challenge.

I wanted to reach 1750km by the end of October if I could, and I just about snuck over the line. More work to be done, but the finish line is getting that much closer…

Playlist

Ode To Billie Joe – Bobbie Gentry

White Room – Cream

Runaway – Del Shannon

Poetry In Motion – Johnny Tillotson

My Girl – The Temptations

Oh! Carol – Neil Sedaka

You’ve Lost That Lovin’ Feeling – The Righteous Brothers

Let’s Spend The Nigh Together – the Rolling Stones

The House Of The Rising Sun – The Animals

What Do You Want – Adam Faith

Take Good Care Of My Baby – Bobby Vee

Dream Lover – Bobby Darin

The Locomotion – Little Eva

Walkin’ Back To Happiness – Helen Shapiro

Blue Velvet – Bobby Vinton

Happy Together – The Turtles

Bye Bye Love, Wake Up Little Susie – The Everly Brothers

No Regrets, The Sun Ain’t Going To Shine Anymore – The Walker Brothers

That’s Life – Frank Sinatra

Chain Gang – Sam Cooke

Why Do Fools Fall In Love  – Frankie Lymon

Sherry – Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons

Be Bop A Lula – Gene Vincent

He’s So Fine – the Chiffons

Reet Petite – Jackie Wilson

Shout – Lulu

Tell Him – The Exciters

Sweet Little Sixteen – Chuck Berry

Leader Of The Pack – The Shangri Las

You Were Made For Me – Freddie and The Dreamers

Blue Bayou – Roy Orbison

Stats

Distance 10.77km

Time 1:23:42

Average Pace 7:46

Elevation Gain – 14 metres

Alzheimer’s Challenge

Kms Run 1753.17

Kms To Go 264.83

 

 

 

 

 

 

27 Oct – I Never Got The Memo

It must be due to the clocks changing but for the first time in almost a lifetime, I was awake before Mr JCR and I made the routine mug of tea. So far so unusual, I never get up first and almost never make tea at the weekend. The spookiness of Hallowe’en has got to me. Or it could be case of eating pasta late last night and my tum grumbling a bit 😉

Either way I was out of the door earlier than usual taking in the usual long route – Mill Lane to the Cafe stop. Except today, no MR JCR in the car to take me home, I’d have to ascend the Bitch of a Pitch. Ho hum.

I did my usual warm-up and then out towards Villa Bali, where a young dad was playing with his toddler. The toddler was having his tum tickled and squealing with delight, then he moved to play with the gravel. Simple pleasures – his dad said buongiorno and I waved back. It’s nice when people are friendly – it gives you a spring in your step. With his salute ringing in my ears I made my way towards the Bendy, Scary Road and promptly got overtaken by three speedy cyclists, they shouted Salve when they went past. All I could do was wave, as they were so fast and out of sight. On my way into Royston Vasey I saw a lady runner ahead of me – wearing black shorts, American Tan tights (I spotted those when I overtook her), long black socks and a fluoro green running top. I was somewhat perplexed by the American Tan tights, unless she doesn’t have running leggings and it was a way of keeping warm.

I overtook her gradually, and made my way through Royston Vasey and then curses, who did I see ahead of me but American Tan Tights runner. Is this some kind of Hallowe’en witchery going on?  Then I remembered there is a short cut, if you are keen on running uphill. It did give me a kick up the butt and at that point I did my fastest km (in this run) at just over 6 minutes a km, but she was not going my way, so I never did catch her up.

Into War Of The Worlds Lane and I see a gentleman runner wearing black shorts and fluoro green top, is he going to mysteriously appear ahead of me despite being overtaken? The answer was no, as he changed direction and started running towards me. Okay that’s two fluoro green and black combos and I’ve only seen two runners. Further on in WOTW Lane, there are two guys doing sprint training and again in fluoro green and black. That’s 4 runners, wearing almost exactly the same clothes. I have that colour combo in my wardrobe, but today went for fluoro orange and blue. I did feel slightly left out of the clothing club, however they were nice, friendly guys and said Salve as I went past.

Obviously there’s something weird going on, I never see many runners – 4 in one run is almost a record for me; the fact they were wearing the same colours was a weird coincidence. Although, it has to be said when you look in the sports shops here, fluoro green and black is a popular mix – I think it shows off the famed Italian Adonis-like bods.

Suitably buoyed up I carried onto the cafe, hitting the 10km mark – a quick coffee and brioche and I was running back towards home. I couldn’t face the Bitch of a Pitch, so wimped out and went back along to WOTW Lane – all the fluoro runners had gone, and without fellow runners to gee me on, my pace suffered somewhat.

I didn’t get the memo on the clothing colours and my legs didn’t get the memo on only doing 9km today, but I’m not complaining.

Playlist

Disco Divas

Knock On Wood – Amii Stewart

Ring My Bell – Anita Ward

Respect – Aretha

Yes Sir, I Can Boogie – Baccara

Cruel Summer – Bananarama

Gotta Go Home – Boney M

I Feel For You, I’m Every Woman – Chaka Khan

Let’s Hear It For The Boy – Deniece Williams

Upside Down, Chain Reaction – Diana Ross

I Say A Little Prayer – Dionne Warwick

I Feel Love, Love To Love You Baby – Donna Summer

Love Come Down – Evelyn Champagne King

Rescue Me – Fontella Bass

Never Can Say Goodbye – Gloria Gaynor

Pull Up To The Bumper – Grace Jones

Somebody Else’s Guy – Jocelyn Brown

Funkytown – Lipps Inc

Heatwave – Martha Reeves

Forget Me Nots, Stir It Up – Patrice Rushen

Lady Marmalade – Patti LaBelle

Jump, Automatic – The Pointer Sisters

Car Wash –  Rose Royce

He’s The Greatest Dancer, Lost In Music – Sister Sledge

Boogie Oogie Oogie – A Taste Of Honey

Tell It To My Heart – Taylor Dayne

Don’t Leave Me This Way – Thelma Houston

I Wanna Dance With Somebody, How Will I Know – Whitney Houston

Stats

Distance 14.37km

Time 1:42:31

Average Pace 7:08

Elevation Gain 141 metres

Alzheimer’s Challenge

Kms Run 1742.40

Kms To Do 275.60

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

24 Oct – 300 to go, 300 ago

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Yesterday’s rest day saw us bottle our green gold and we now have lots of extra virgin olive oil. Today’s non-rest day sees me running my planned 9km and then helping to take down two cherry trees.

Today’s prime target is to get over the 1718 km mark, leaving me fewer than 300 to go. I had a boost first thing when one of my fellow C25Kers slinkimalinki also sponsored my Alzheimer’s Challenge. With that lovely gesture at front of mind, I got out for my run.

I realised when I was out that to go over the 1718 mark leaves me with 300 kms to do, and my thoughts turned to the year 1718 – 300 years ago. I wondered what, if anything, happened on the day I hit 1718.

And the answer is not a lot; now in fairness recording of history then wasn’t in digital records, so I limited myself to a Dr Google search when I got back

Stede Bonnet, the famous English pirate (I’d never heard of him either) escaped from prison having being found guilty of piracy and sentenced to death. He was known as the gentleman pirate, having decided piracy was better paid than being a landowner. As I’ve already said olive oil farming isn’t likely to make you a packet of cash either, so maybe I should become a modern pirate. Jancanrob.com, a new website coming to you shortly… 🙂

My run took me through a well worn path as I knew exactly which route to take to make sure I met my target kms. Mill Lane, Lovers’ Lane, the Hill that Kills, The Bendy Scary Road. And to be honest it was a quiet run, except for a volley of shot gun fire – it is hunting season here and I saw one of the hunters who seemed to be empty handed. He saw me at  my 4km mark and said ‘Quante fatica’ or How Hard? Now in fairness, at this point I wasn’t exactly tonking it, but I did feel perfectly fine – maybe my face told a different story?

At 6kms I saw the smiley happy lady and we waved at each other from either side of the road. Then onto the War Of The Worlds Lane for my final 3kms – it was sunny, warm and utterly empty, until I saw one lone man, loping down the road.

He wasn’t a runner but a cool walker with a very laid back loping walk. He was walking faster than I imagined and it took me a little while to overtake him – when I did he said Brava Signora – little does he know I am a would be pirate in disguise.

He was safe today, as I had another target in mind. And it was done -10.09kms – that got me to 1719.62kms run. Just over the planned 1718. Maybe I would have done better looking at 1719s activities on Google instead. We will never know…

Playlist

From my Weather Playlist

Chasing Cars – Snow Patrol

Ice Ice Baby – Vanilla Ice

Misty Blue – Dorothy Moore

It’s Raining Men – The Weather Girls

Sunshine of Your Love – Cream

Something In The Air – Thunderclap Newman

Sunny – Boney M

Ain’t No Sunshine – Lighthouse Family

Purple Rain – His Purple Highness

Downpour – Backstreet Boys

Sunshine On Leith – The Proclaimers

On The Road Again – Canned Heat

Baby It’s Cold Outside – Menzel and Bublé

Cold as Ice – Foreigner

Bridge Over Troubled Water – Stormzy and Artists for Grenfell

Summer Breeze – Isley Brothers

Cold – Stormzy

Sunshine On A Rainy Day – Galimar

Sunday Morning – Maroon 5

I Can’t Stand The Rain – Ann Peebles

Stats

Distance 10.09km

Time 1:07:59

Average Pace 6:44

Elevation Gain 51 metres

Alzheimer’s Challenge

Kms Run 1719.62

Kms To Run 298.38

 

21 Oct – Olive Oyl Runs Again

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There’s a tractor on our land and quite a bit of noise, this was our Sunday morning wake-up call. The harvest crew for the olives have arrived, with tractor, trailer, nets, air compressor, leaf wobblers – not sure the Italian word translates as well, and our ‘dog share’ Argo; he always likes to oversee any proceedings.

The usual faffing and prevarication prevailed, but I did go out. Day 2 – planned 9km. It’s a clear day, but not that warm yet, so long running tights and base layer are a must. Agree to meet Mr JCR at the coffee shop, so he can rescue me from the long walk back up the Bitch of a Pitch.

I take my usual route and it’s a busy day around here. The olive harvest is in full swing – to obtain the best certification for your oil, you have to harvest and press your olives within 24 hours, so the area is a hive of activity. We have about 40 trees and our yield of olives is a mysterious measure called a quintale. Our neighbour has 180 trees and he has only secured one quintale, we however  will have three or four. This is a great example of the vagaries of olive farming; our houses are separated by the width of a road, yet he has virtually none worth gathering. Olive farming is not a route to great profit.

I run past the olive mill in Mill Lane – usually silent, but today open and humming with a trailer of olive waste material growing in size as I run past. To Lovers’ Lane, where there are absolutely no lovers nor sign of life, I aim towards the Bendy Scary Road and coming towards me are a posse of older cyclists, all in club kit – a black and amber yellow combo. They are about six or seven in number and they shout buongiorno as they go past. Coming up the rear, is a man I recognise – this is the cyclist built for comfort and not speed – apparently he has joined the club and they have spoken to him about the dress code. Great joy, he was not wearing his transparent white cycling shorts, he was in all-concealing black. Never did I think I would be ecstatic at the sight of black cycling shorts…

I continued on the Bendy, Scary Road and a second cycling club came up the hill – the first person who passed me said – ‘Look it’s a woman running’ – yes he wins the Most Obvious Comment of the Day award – but a few of them said the same thing. I know there aren’t that many runners on a day to day basis, but the ones I do see in running clubs tend to be male, so maybe I am a rarer beast here than I thought.

Third cycling club of the day, much younger and they didn’t say a word, nor did they give me much room as they went past very speedily, but they were about 30 strong, riding three and four abreast. I think overall I prefer the older cyclists, they tend to be a little more courteous and friendly.

At the 7km mark, I turned off into War Of The Worlds Lane, here the pace slackened a bit and I took a gentle jogamble towards the end. There were many pedestrians here, dog walkers, pram walkers, and youngsters on their bikes, all taking advantage of an unexpectedly warmer Sunday than forecast. The great thing about having spectators when you run, is that it keeps your motivation high – you can’t slack or be tempted to stop when you have an audience.

Another lovely run, I’m glad to have got it in as the storm clouds are gathering and next week looks like shower dodging runs – I’d quite forgotten what rain looks and feels like. Oh and I just broke the 1700km mark. This Olive Oyl runner is definitely in need of some spinach, to give me some iron for the colder weather ahead, but maybe I’ll settle for the green gold of our olive oil instead, which is due to be milled tomorrow.

Playlist

Back To Black (twice) – Amy Winehouse

All She Wants Is (twice), Planet Earth – Duran Duran

It’s Raining Men – The Weather Girls

Temptation – Heaven 17

Night Fever – Bee Gees

Love’sUnkind – Donna Summer

She Sells Sanctuary – The Cult

All Stood Still – Ultravox

Baggy Trousers, Embarrassment – Madness

Be My Number Two (twice), Beat Crazy, (twice), Breaking Us In Two – Joe Jackson

Blasphemous Rumours – Depeche Mode

Enola Gay – OMD

Eternal Flame – The Bangles

Rumour Has It (twice) – Adele

Stats

Distance 10.04km

Time 1:08:40

Average Pace 6:50

Alzheimer’s Challenge

Kms Run 1701.85

Kms to Run 316.15

 

 

 

 

 

20 Oct – Red, red wine…

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Wife Directing Husband..

 

Thanks to UB40 for the tune and the lyrics that are most relevant to me:-

Red, red wine, goes to my head,
Makes me forget that I
Still need you so

Yes, red wine goes to my head,  but now not in a good way  – after a week of abstinence, one glass and a half of red wine brought about the dreaded pick axe migraine, whilst I was still drinking the stuff! A day and a half later the pickaxe disappeared and it doesn’t matter how much I like red wine, I hate the migraines even more.

Therefore I cannot forget, and must forgo drinking red wine, which is a bummer, as I love red, especially in the Autumn and Winter.

Yesterday’s run was made after my final dose of paracetamol to quell the pounding in my skull. Day 1 = 10km.

I took a slightly different route from usual, going first of all to my usual Mill Lane, Lovers’ Lane and back home on the Slope of Hope,  from there and in front of me I saw three people all kitted out in their best walking gear, going for a stroll in the Marche countryside. Our little village actually has a tourist organisation (the Pro Loco) and ‘man from PL’ was leading the group. I buzzed past him, and received a cheery good morning. He was the last person I saw for about 3km, until Laundry Lane when I came across a husband and wife team harvesting their olives. I asked if I could take a photo and they said it wasn’t a problem. The man is holding a rake tool, which is powered and has a compressed air motor to gently ruffle the twigs so the olives drop, We can’t have tree shakers for the olives as they do too much damage to the trees.

I continued my pootle; Babbo Natale drove past and waved at me, making me smile once more and I continued for a quick pitstop for coffee and brioche at my usual cafe stop. After that, I made my way to War of The Worlds Lane, to finish my run. Not a soul around, all quiet even though it was a Saturday morning, no sign of hairy biker man or Artur, so I plodded onto finish just over the 11km mark.

It was a lovely morning, and a nicer run, no twinges, no rain,  not too much sun and a sedentary pace. What a lovely way to start the weekend, it certainly banished the memories of the icepick migraine.

Oh and I tried out my ‘famous names – extra cut’ playlist, so this was my inaugural run using it.

Playlist

I’m Henery The Eighth I Am – Herman’s Hermits

Flash – Queen

The Ballad Of John and Yoko, Eleanor Rigby, Lady Madonna – The Beatles

Doctorin’ The Tardis – The Flag

Romeo and Juliet, Calling Elvis – Dire Straits

So Long, Frank Lloyd Wright – Simon and Garfunkel

I Just Shot John Lennon – The Cranberries

Motorhead – Hawkwind

Elvis Impersonator – The Manics

Roll Over Beethoven – Chuck Berry

Delilah – Tom Jones

Elvis Ain’t Dead – Scouting For Girls

Layla (twice) – Eric Clapton

Clair – Gilbert O’Sullivan

Genghis Khan – Iron Maiden

Lily The Pink, Burke and Hare – The Scaffold

Maid Of Orleans, Pandora’s Box – OMD

Oh Yoko – John Lennon

Uma Thurman (twice) – Fall Out Boy

Stan – Eminem and Dido

Stats

Distance 11.04km

Time 1:22:51

Average Pace 7:30

Elevation Gain 192 metres

Alzheimer’s Challenge

Kms Run 1691.81 (1700kms I have you in my sights)

Kms to Run 326.19

 

 

 

 

 

16 Oct – The kNAFFTAs* are here

white clothes line trousers past
*Knickers and Foundation Fitness Training Awards – the ‘k’ is silent

 

In English we have a phrase ‘don’t get your knickers in a twist’ or a knot is also a variant on the adage. This came to mind during my run this morning. It occurred to me that whilst I had created a scoring method for my sports bras, I hadn’t done the same for the nether region’s needs. What’s good enough for upstairs is good enough for downstairs, so here we go.

Here is my indispensable guide to working out whether your running/sporting undergarments pass muster.

A  – Appearance

In relationships, for some of us, looks are all. Others prefer character or even a good sense of humour. How your underwear looks may just make the crucial difference between running and running scared.

Score yours as follows:

0= Who said knickers were necessary? I run commando.

1= I re-purposed granny’s bloomers/ grandad’s plus-fours, they are a bit bulky under the lycra

2= Other than the rotting elastic, they’re looking good for 10 years wear

3= So-so, I wouldn’t die of shame if my shorts fell down

4= Nearly new, neat and rather natty

5= The haute couture of knickers, I prefer to be seen in these rather than my running shorts

B for Bounce

For us runners some moving flesh can be problematical. Underwear providing a bit of support can be the difference between being able to sit comfortably post run and being forced to apply anaesthetic cream in places you rather wouldn’t.

Score yours as follows:

0 = I run commando, bounce hardens you up

1= OMG, there’s a flesh rollercoaster down/back there, it’s all unrestrained

2= I yelp occasionally when my parts get out of synch

3= An occasional hiccup, but otherwise it’s settled nicely

4= Firm without constriction

5= There ain’t nothing going on down there

C – Chafeability

The feel of your undergarment fabric can change your whole demeanour, for better or worse

Score yours as follows:

0= I’ve already told you, running commando makes me ‘meanour’

1= I think they call it glass paper at B&Q, this material takes no prisoners, I’m on my way to A&E

2= Hessian is not as eye-watering as you may think and runner’s lube helps

3=  I gasp occasionally in the shower – as a consequence my partner is somewhat suspicious

4= Seamless, wicking technology – need I say more?

5= My personal shopper sourced the most wonderful, hand woven Tibetan silk underwear. Please define chafe for me.

D for Dirt Management

Running underwear needs laundering, most of us can’t afford the time or have the inclination for special treatment

Score as follows:

0= Commando baby, nothing necessary

1= Handwoven Tibetan silk requires a Tibetan silk hand washing specialist, luckily I can afford one

2= Who doesn’t use a dry cleaner?

3= Hand washing preferred, with like minded clothing, we don’t like conditioner

4= Washing machine but please make it gentle with no tumble drying

5= Washing machine – any programme, these babies are indestructible

E for Expensively Branded

Running is supposed to be cheap, but as we know that’s not really true especially if you fall prey to ‘swoosh envy’, so how does your underwear size up on cost?

Score as follows:

0= I’ve told you so many times, I go commando, no cost impact for me, but my partner doesn’t like touching my running shorts

1= Handwoven Tibetan silk, doesn’t come cheap and my undies don’t either

2= Usain Bolt recommended these and he deserves the money

3= Goldilocks Porridge – just right

4= I’ve got money left over for lube

5= How cheap?!?, Better buy a multi-pack

F for Form

We’ve all fooled ourselves from time to time over the form of our clothing, for example ‘I did look good in the 80s’. Your choice of shape/type of underwear speaks volumes about you as a runner.

Score yours:

0= Runnng commando, my form is perfect and I won’t hear otherwise. I actually don’t hear otherwise as no-one will or does run with me

1 – I do everything in my boxers, although I concede they do look odd over my running shorts

2 – Going for a thong, who doesn’t like a cheesecutter?

3 – The old, grey faithful, no longer recognisable in form, colour or age. I can’t even be sure that they’re not my partner’s knickers

4 – My Bridget Jones Big Pants – my wife/husband says they suit me and provide a very useful tummy tuck service at the same time

5 –  Proper, pucker, perfect running knickers. No seams, wicking technology, no riding up with wear – heaven in a brief.

For scoring – anyone with a zero score – I think we all know how you run, more or less naked and most definitely alone. 😉

The higher the score the better the knicker. You can find the excel sheet here, to help you score your drawers

kNAFFTA2019

P.s. Run Done – same issues as yesterday – the fog meant Map My Run recorded me as doing 56kms today

Playlist

Dad Dancing Classics

Come On Eileen – Dexys

Money For Nothing – Dire Straits

Ballroom Blitz – Sweet

This Town Ain’t Big Enough For The Both Of Us – Sparks

Sit Down – James

Jump Around – House of Pain

Oops Up Side Your Head – The Gap Band

Bat Out Of Hell – Meatloaf

Rockin’ All Over The World – Status Quo

Papas Got A Brand New Pigbag – Pigbag

Born To Run – The Boss

Greased Lightning – John Travolta

Dreadlock Holiday – 10cc

Mr Blue Sky – ELO

I’m Too Sexy – Right Said Fred

Timewarp – The Rocky Horror Show Cast

Tubthumping – Chumbawumba

Pretty Vacant – Sex Pistols

Prince Charming – Adam and The Ants

Living On A Prayer – Bon Jovi

Bohemian Rhapsody – Queen

Sex On Fire – Kings of Leon

Stats

Distance 10.08km

Time 1:05:08

Average Pace 6:27

Elevation Gain – indeterminable

Alzheimer’s Challenge

Kms Done 1674.64

Kms To Run 343.36

 

 

 

16 Oct – Haven’t The Foggiest

forest under clouds
This is not the view on my run, but this is nicer!

Tuesday morning  and the upsides:-

  • yesterday was rest day
  • I don’t have a migraine
  • it’s misty, which makes it easier to run as it’s not so hot

Downside:-

  • GPRS gets confused

And how GPRS got confused today! Map My Run claimed I ran 81.18kms in one hour and 6 minutes my new personal best of 48 seconds a km. Take that Usain – who is the lightning bolt now? How I wish any of that was true – the distance, the speed and the elevation gains were all over the place.

But this was a well-trodden path; luckily I have on a previous  run recorded this route and the distance was not lost. I started out happily onto Mill Lane – no-one there. Lovers’ Lane and Bali – no-one. Hill that Kills – no-one. Bendy, Scary Road – no-one. Royston Vasey – no-one. War of the World’s Lane – at last humankind is in sight, I thought everyone had been abducted by aliens. There ahead of me was Hairy Biker Man and Artur his dog. HBM was wearing blue tinted aviator sunglasses, Artur just his collar,  and me wearing a bemused look. It was foggy, why was HBM wearing sunglasses? But then, Italians in my experience, always manage to look cool, and he did, although I would have looked ridiculous wearing them in the fog… 🙂

I don’t know him well enough to ask, I’m only really on petting terms with Artur and it seems a tad impertinent to ask. Arthur is 4 years old and likes a long walk, his un-named companion dog was at home as she is 15 and not up to the long walks.

It was nice to see them and stop for a chat, except for one slight thing, I had been running quite pacily and this was definitely an unscheduled stop, but a nice one nonetheless. Clearly, HBM and Artur each had a magnetic field to attract more folk out, because shortly after I saw my first cyclist and then two walkers.

Lovely, misty run – not 81kms but a touch over 10km, nor was it a lightning bolt run, but it’s not bad for an old girl!

Playlist

Mummycav playlist – thanks Bev for reminding I hadn’t played this in a while

Shake It Off – Taylor Swift

Layla – Derek And The Dominoes

Darling Nikki – Prince

Ophelia – The Band

Queen Of Clubs – KC and The Sunshine Band

Uma Thurman – Fall Out Boy

St Xenia – Katina

Oh Yoko – John Lennon

Teresa – Eddie Cochran

Alison – Elvis Costello

Eloise – The Damned

Sherry – Frankie Valli and the Four Seasons

Francine – ZZ Top

Helena -My Chemical Romance

The Jean Genie – David Bowie

Poison Ivy – The Lambrettas

Respect – Aretha Franklin

Caroline – Status Quo

Girls Just Want To Have Fun – Cyndi Lauper

Kayleigh – Marillion

Maggie May – Rod Stewart

Wendy – the Beach Boys

Zoe Jane – Staind

Stats

Distance 10.08km

Time 1:06:05

Average Pace 6:33

Elevation Gain – 47 metres

Alzheimer’s Challenge

Kms Run 1664.56

Kms to Run 353.44

 

 

12 Oct – Hot or Cold?

 

I had cold feet about getting up for my run – mainly laziness. But the weather was hotting up, so after much faffing I finally got out. What a glorious October morning, 18 degrees, sunny, no breeze and very little traffic around.

The usual long run route from home to the coffee shop, taking in the delights of Mill Lane, Lovers’ Lane, The Hill That Kills, Bendy Scary Road, Royston Vasey, Fish Shop Village and Bin Lane.

At Bali, I spotted the roses basking in the morning sun, and they were beautifully fragranced too. Summer’s last rays of sunshine encouraging the late flowering.  This was quite prophetic for my run, as I was a little slow on my feet at this point, I think the September reduced runs are having an impact and I’m a little less used to doing longer distances. Still October will get me back on track. The downside of the sun, is that the pesky biting insects are around and I’m nursing two bites on my legs which line up perfectly with my capri seams. It’s not an elegant run when I have to stop for a scratch and hope that no-one sees me.

Onto Royston Vasey and I smiled when I saw the hot water bottle cover on the washing line – at this point it was about 20 degrees and it seemed really incongruous, given I was boiling hot and rolling up my capris to cool down somewhat.

At the 6km mark, the late flowering came into effect personally and I managed two kilometres at under 5.50 pace, which is quite a rate for me, especially in the sun. Eminem and ‘Lose Yourself’ did help as it’s one of my favourite running tracks, then All Saints made an appearance with ‘Never Ever’ which also kept me trotting along nicely. Of course this pace wasn’t sustainable, but it’s the first time in a while I’ve done sub 6 minutes per km.

Bin Lane came into view and I had to slow down, but another 10km clocked on the challenge, on a day that started with cold feet and ended up with a happy hot runner.

Playlist

Ju-Ju’s 90’s Playlist

Get Here – Oleta Adams

Don’t Need The Sunshine – Catatonia

Say My Name – Destiny’s Child

Lose Yourself – Eminem

Never, Ever – All Saints

Love Is All Around – The Wets

Barbie Girl – Aqua

Believe – Cher

Wannabe – Spice Girls

Nothing Compares 2 U – Sinead O’Connor

The Power – SNAP!

Gangsta’s Paradise – Coolio

Move Any Mountain, Ebeneezer Goode – The Shamen

I See You Baby – Groove Armada

Devotion – Nomad

The Key, The Secret – Urban Cookie Crew

Everybody’s Free – Rozalla

Baby One More Time – Britney Spears

Dub Be Good To Me – Beats International

Stats

Distance 10.44km

Time 1:08:00

Average Pace 6:30

Elevation Gain  47 metres

Alzheimer’s Challenge

Kms Run 1639.75

Kms to Run 378.25