The Twelve Days of Christmas – Day Twelve

New Year’s Eve

On the twelfth Day of Christmas

We are here in Italy

Twelve O’Clock Bell Chiming

Eleven pages of planning docs

Ten hours of sleeping

Nine o’clock, our friends left

Eight Dutchmen drinking

Seven laughs a minute

Six Fano Views taken

Five courses eaten

Four stockings readied

Three lots of shopping

Two people cleaning

And the house was only one degree

But the very best news was I broke my running duck. Today I went running, honest to God, cross my heart running.

Just a pity the technology didn’t play ball, still New Year, New Start – and that means a new running app, as me and Map My Run Mechanical Voice Lady are coming to the end. I divorce her herewith…

Two NYE parties to go to, aren’t we lucky? This is my kind of interval training – one party, then a short interval, followed by another.

Happy New Year All.

 

17 September -Runnin’ just as fast as you can…

Except it’s really not true.A few days on the injury couch having impressed the Olympic diving judges with my tucked, pike dismount from the shower tray, no running at all in fact.

Saturday, I tried a jogette around the house – mmm back still very twingey, so I thought I should check out the advice again on what to do in case of injury and it turns out there’s a very useful mnemonic.

RICE = Rest, Ice, Compression, Elevation

Taking them one by one

Rest – we have 10 Londoners with us for Mr JCR’s cycling club twinning event, five of whom are staying at our house (from the day after I did my muscle pull until Monday evening – yesterday). That is the Rest element well and truly off the agenda.

Ice – it’s cooler here now and I am a lizard by temperature preference, so the thought of sellotaping a bag of frozen peas to my back seems very unappealing. Oh and the peas are already in use, as one of the cyclists did her knee in.  Ice quite clearly not happening.

Compression- not entirely sure how to compress a back, got some very interesting answers from Dr Google, all of which seemed to require me to perform positions only seen in gymnastic competitions and Ann Summers gear. Compression off the list then…

Elevation – now that seemed to involve taking my back off the ground, well it normally is off the ground, and a second Dr Google search seemed to involve trapezes.

Having decided the official RICE advice wasn’t for me, I created my own RICE.

R = Ra ra Rasputin, Lover of the Russian Queen – this song is particularly good for dancing with a host of 10 London cyclists and their Italian hosts. Truthfully not one twinge did I feel whilst dancing to this, well I did feel more than a twinge of embarrassment at dancing to it and knowing the words.

I = Inglesi and Italiani  insieme. Spending 6 hours on a Saturday night through to Sunday morning, dancing, laughing and drinking with a lovely bunch of people.  This seemed to be the perfect pick me up.

C = Cool (Daddy Cool) – Boney M’s classic hit, yet another reason to hit the dance-floor, throwing some shapes…, followed by a rather nifty rendition of YMCA and Barry White’s ‘You’re My First, My Last, My Everything”. I think you get the drift of the evening.

E = Early to Bed. 2am is early!

I do not think Sports Scientists will be adopting the JCR RICE method, but it worked for me.

Sunday, I went for a run/walk – thinking in the spirit of ingliano and making up words, it is a wun. An entirely new route, so I am sure you are all waiting in bated breath for the new street names… New route included barking beagle hill, laundry lane, road to nowhere and prune way. As is my wont, I messed up the technology again and at one stage did a rather superb sub 3minutes kilometre split. Mo Farah I’m after you!

All in all about a 9km outing and I reckon I ran about 6/7 kms, which means I can start running again, properly. Next outing maybe Wednesday afternoon…

Playlist

Disco 2000 – Pulp

Just Can’t Get Enough – Depeche Mode

Save a Prayer – Duran Duran

Rumour Has It – Adele

Scooby Snacks – Fun Lovin’ Criminals

Locomotion – OMD

Help Me Rhonda – Beach Boys

Hungry Heart – The Boss

Mercy – Duffy

Lose Yourself – Eminem

Crazy in Love – Beyonce

I Try – Macy Gray

Strong – London Grammar

See You – Depeche Mode

When Doves Cry – Prince and The Revolution

Cake By The Ocean – DNCE

Don’t Stop Til You Get Enough – Michael Jackson

Sign Your Name – Terence Trent D’Arby

People Are People – Depeche Mode

Upside Down – Paloma Faith

Na Na Na Na Naa – Kaiser Chiefs

I Won’t Let The Sun Go Down On Me – Nik Kershaw

China Girl – David Bowie

Andy, You’re a Star – The Killers

Is Vic There? – Department S

By The Way – Red Hot Chilis

Stats*

*To be taken with  a big pinch of salt only…..

Distance 8.25km (but Map My Run was stalled for at least 1km)

Time 1hr 23 mins (included 2 chats with friends….and yes I forgot to pause MMR)

Pace 10.03 mins/km

Best kilometre 2 mins 14 seconds….

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

And the BRAFTA* goes to…

And the BRAFTA* goes to...

*That is the Bra, Running and Fitness Training Award

Our Host for this prestigious ceremony was to have been Stephen Fry, as he hosts almost everything, but he politely reclined the offer as my dad’s old secretary used to say. As he couldn’t make it, you have me as judge and jury, following on from last week’s nomination process.

The awards being given today are:-

Best Supporting Act

Most Promising Debut from a Newcomer

Uns(l)ung Hero Award

Best Technical Instruction Screenplay

Outstanding Individual Contribution

The first of our BRAFTAs for MostPromisingDebutfromaNewcomer.

Nominees are:-

Booband nominated by Sweatyfaced

One Size Smaller Swimming Costume Overlay – nominated by nikkiwabit

And the winner is Booband for having a great name, although no-one is as yet brave enough to try it

The Uns(l)ung Hero Award

Recognises those bras that have done sterling service, but may now be a little grey and tired, and not first choice.

Nominees are:-

HeleneCorsa – the unknown, no label, bunged in a drawer

Runningraspberrydiva – White, wrong sized, does the job

SuzyKK – for the grey Jockey bought in Florida

mfamilias – for the grainy white, maternity ward flopper stopper, now ‘back of the cupboard’

And the winner is, mfamilias for the imperiously named flopper stopper

Best Technical Instruction Screenplay

Both bra-ing and de-bra -ing are highly skilled tasks. This award recognises those who have provided useful terminology to aid in these complex and time-consuming manoeuvres

Nominees are:-

JaySeeSkinny for the new technique called ‘de-sausaging’

icklegui for identifying the new ailment ‘mono-boob’

antet for the aesthetic horror of ‘redistribution of rolls’

Helene Corsa for describing the problems of front loaders, as ‘mid-run jailbreak’

slinky-malinki for ‘Houdini out of a straitjacket’

MFamilias for describing ‘frozen nipple syndrome’

Whilst hotly contested, the winner has to be JaySeeSkinny with ‘de-sausaging’

Outstanding Individual Contribution

The BRAFTA committee recognise that this ceremony could not have occurred without some sterling efforts on behalf of the bra buying public. This award recognises those who went above and beyond the call of duty in their efforts.

Helene Corsa – for changing room shenanigans, almost resulting in a bra cut off scenario at home

JaySeeSkinny – for de-sausaging with one finger

roseabi – for bra pad removal from the Amazon and re-homing in Primark

Icklegui – for seemingly having tried all bras on the market, but especially for the real-time road test of The Freya

helenwheels – who is now using the scorecard for all elements of her life including children, friends….

And the winner is Icklegui, for not letting any sports bra go unchecked!

And finally ladies, the prestigious award, for the Best Supporting Act

The nominees using the scoring model are:-

Jockey with 87% satisfaction score

Freya with 78%

and Adidas CMMTTD Chill with 80%

Those without:-

M&S – 7 votes

Shock Absorber – 10

Panache – 3

Freya – 2

Purely on numbers voted the Shock Absorber takes the award

I’d like to close the award ceremony with heartfelt thanks to all participants in this year’s BRAFTA awards. Ladies feel free to download the highly expensive, exclusive BRAFTA trophy pic.

Originally posted on Health Unlocked 7 September 2017

Post Script:

Some C25Kers missed the cut off date for voting and there was a suggestion that we ought to extend the concept to Knickers, so we could include men in the voting. But  then there was a horrid suggestion about commando running….eeeuugghh…

Plus, the original AtoE Cup Challenge failed to include a category of fitness, so the A to E Cup Challenge is now officially re-named as A to F Cup, and a new spreadsheet for those wishing to re-score their undies drawer is available

For those in any doubt that this was a necessary challenge, go take a look here..

Frightening Figures of Eight