Being Buzzed Literally and Metaphorically – 26 September

A fellow C25Ker Donna79 on Health Unlocked had posted that life had somehow got in the way yesterday and she hadn’t managed to run as planned, so we did a deal I would run today if she did. And we’d name and shame if the other hadn’t done it. Today was therefore a ‘pride’ run.

My usual invitation from Mr Smooth arrived this morning, but was ignored because we had the door-lock man coming, as a result my run was to be deferred. Somewhat ironically, the front door handle came off last night, so we had to go out to get parts to fix the door to be able to let the door-lock man in! En route to the Ferramenta (Fact: The village Ferramenta is absolutely the best shop in all of Italy), the door-lock man phoned – he had problems so would be with us in the afternoon. Ferramentas are exactly like The Two Ronnies’ Four Candles sketch in appearance and methods, but there’s pretty much nothing that can’t be bought or acquired there.

Back to base, no excuses now running kit on. Warm down walk didn’t exactly start auspiciously – around the first left hand bend I could hear a scooter approaching behind me, it was Greavsie from the barking balcony house. Then in an instant, a Fiat Punto decided that a scooter on a blind bend was in a perfect place to overtake, so he overtook him and I felt the swoosh of air as he passed me a bit too close for comfort. The driver did one of those jerky arm movements and the car lurched back right – I think I frightened him almost as much as he frightened me and Greavsie.

Map My Run mechanical voice lady, told me to start running so I did;  up the hill that kills and into Lovers’ Lane. I had decided today I was going to have a go at running Cavendish Hill

Last time I tried this hill I ran down to 1979 in a vain attempt to find Mark Cavendish’s name on the tarmac, but failed as he has been lost in the mists of time and faded paint. I descended downhill and just as I hit the 1990s OMG a swarm of bees ‘crossing’ the road. Well I was amongst them so decided the best thing I could do was to keep my mouth closed, eyes down to the tarmac and hope they didn’t get miffed.  I got all the way down to the bottom which I think is dated either 1930 or 1950, again the tarmac  is way too faded to tell and I ran up Cavendish Hill. In truth I took 5 mini stops to do it, but it is about an 80 metre gain and Mr JCR’s Strava confirms it is 0.80 of a kilometre. A 10% gradient all told.

Back down Lovers’ Lane, to receive a buongiorno from two guys at the Piadineria, continued to the Hill that Kills, and then down to the Bendy, Scary Road. This is a nice slope down and I’d estimated I might just be able to do my 7km milestone before having to tackle Cavendish Hill again. I was meandering nicely down, the Adria Bus came thundering towards me – having being buzzed twice this morning already I didn’t fancy a close encounter of the third kind, so I stopped and stepped to one side. But miracles do happen he pulled wide of me and gave me loads of room. Not entirely sure what the motorist thought coming the other way though!

Winding down now I knew I had done about 6.5km and then what did I see in the distance, but the entrance to Cavendish Hill, aaarrrggghhh, I hadn’t quite got my calibration right. I entered Cavendish Hill with about 250 metres to do, but I failed to do it one go, had to have a stop. But now I have a new target for Cavendish Hill, to get up with only 4 stops…

Anyway upshot is after being buzzed, by cars and bees and nearly a bus, I am buzzing… 7km done yay!

Oh yes 3 X 11 reps of squats done last night too. Same tonight otherwise King of Squats will be on my case.

Face Colour Monarch Red

Btw Donna79 only went and did it, so no shame for either of us, only fame!


Wonderwall – Oasis

Rehab – Amy Winehouse

Perfect – Lightning Seeds

Somebody Told me – Killers

Crazy In Love – Beyonce

(Forever) Live and Die – OMD

Lucky You (twice in succession) – Lightning Seeds

Born in the USA (twice in succession) – The Boss

Blue Monday – New Order

Einstein a Go-Go – Landscape

Sex-O-Matic Venus Freak – Macy Gray

Barbara Ann – Beach Boys

Blasphemous Rumours – Depeche Mode

In the City – The Jam

Na Na Na Na Naa – Kaiser Chiefs

Chelsea Dagger – Fratellis


Distance 7.01Km

Duration 51.20mins

Average Pace 7.19(mins/km)

Elevation Gain 116 metres





3 September – Faffolino is in the Hills

The hunting season opened officially on 1st September, but on that day it was rainy and misty, so I guess the hunters stayed at home. This morning, wet and very windy and a volley of shots confirmed my date with Mr Smooth, I put my head out of the window, gosh it was cold. It was at this point the faff-mouse appeared, Faffolino as she is known, is very sleepy most of the time but when she wakes up, she creates havoc. So after having put out all my clothes for the run, the vest top and shorts had to go back in the drawer.

Get the step ladder out to climb to the top of the wardrobe, to pull out the Autumn/Winter gear. More faffing ensues, which clothes to wear? Okay longer running capris, but which rain jacket, the pink polythene bag version or the orange and purple tasteful jacket, with bright yellow netted lining. Mr JCR who had decided rather wisely that he was not cycling this morning, made a helpful suggestion. Try walking around the house in both jackets and decide then.

Okay so that’s more faffing to do… Dismount stepladder, get dressed, take stepladder, put it in the ‘universal crap’ cupboard. Unlock doors, try on one jacket, walk around the house like a fluoro security guard. Okay decision – pink polythene bag version. Eventually, out the door, to the gates. Drat, Faffolino has struck again, it’s so windy that the automatic gates keep closing. I play chicken with the gates a couple of times and then get out. First run part up the Hill That Kills. Aha, I see a lady in her pyjamas, rather sassy ones with sun, moons and planets on them oh and gum boots and a parka. This is strange, the mums in pyjamas concept isn’t really seen here.

It seems Mrs Pigiama mamma and Mr P-M, have a problem. About 15 minutes earlier one of their trees lost a significant branch to the wind – about 25cm in diameter and about 4 metres long, it is blocking the road. They are in the road, sawing it into smaller pieces so they can shift it out the way. I wish them ‘Buon Lavoro’ and carry on, looking towards all the trees, wondering if any more are about to fall down.

Head into Lovers’ Lane, get overtaken by a car which makes me jump. Faffolino tells me she hasn’t done yet – so I have to stop to remove a stone from my shoe. Back up Lover’s Lane and up to the Hill That Kills again, Mrs Pigiama mamma is inside, Mr P-M is left fixing his netting fence, and a much smaller branch is neatly at the side of the road. Down to the bottom and back up again, for my last loop into Lovers’ Lane, it’s got a bit warmer and the rain has stopped, so I am sweating like the proverbial pig in my pink polythene jacket. Faffolino has hit me again, so I hop around taking off the pink, revealing my bright yellow top.

I decided to do another change of route and headed towards Cavendish Hill, I call it this because it has been a famous Giro D’Italia stage and also a stage for other Italian races. Mark Cavendish the Isle of Man cyclist has won here and been immortalised in paint on the road. The hill is very steep and years ago the local council decided to commemorate all the previous winners, starting with the earliest years at the bottom of the hill and as you rise, the list is more recent. I set off in September 2017 (no paint here as the stage hasn’t been here for a few years) and decided I would run down the hill to Mark’s name and back up. Great plan JCR, except the paint has faded so much you can no longer see his name, so having run from 2017 down to 1979 and still not found him, I decided to ‘run’ back up.

Progress slightly hindered, by stopping at the faded paintwork every few metres, this is a bitch of a hill. And as you can see from the pics, I never did find him. So Mr Cavendish, if you want to remain immortalised in this corner of Italy, perhaps you could contact the Comune of Saltara and arrange for some new paint? I don’t know if Faffolino had decided to put the idea of Cavendish Hill in my running mind, but yes I was faffing because of taking photos.

I finish at 5.6km of proper running, but Cavendish Hill is a toughy…, and my final paces resembled Mrs Overall of Acorn Antiques, not I think the optimal running style I should be aiming for.

Late Postscript, Mr JCR has informed me that Mr Cavendish actually won a time trial here in the 2008/09 timescale, so I ran all the way down to 1979 and it was actually 29 years further up the hill. AAARRGGHHH. That’s 29 years of unnecessary running!


Sign Your Name – Terence Trent D’Arby

It’s Called A Heart – Depeche Mode

When Doves Cry – Prince And The Revolution

Is Vic There? – Department S

F..k You – Cee Lo Green

Modern Love – David Bowie

Alison – Elvis Costello

Personal Jesus – Depeche Mode

Beat It (twice in succession) – Michael Jackson

Warwick Avenue – Duffy

Don’t Stop ‘Til You Get Enough – Michael Jackson

Billie Jean – Michael Jackson


Distance 5.61km (purely running)

Time 44.31

Average Pace 7.55 min/km

Elevation Gain 90 metres – yes 90 – look at the Cavendish Hill!