Mar 17 – The Loneliness of the Non-Distance Runner

 

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With thanks to Mr Sillitoe for the inspiration for the post’s title

A recap

2018, let’s run 2018km to raise £2018 for Alzheimer’s Research – done, tick well done

2019, let’s fix the frozen shoulder and gippy hip, with a view to being able to learn to box this year – aha, a work in progress. And then go back to normal running about 1200/1500kms in a year. Oh and hopefully manage a half marathon sometime during the year.

January – physio started, doctor’s health check done – a few small issues highlighted:-

  • Kidney issuette
  • High cholesterol
  • Shoulder still dodgy, but being fixed
  • Hip being fixed, however it is resisting treatment
  • Migraines a go -go

February – mmm, things aren’t getting any better:-

Kidney infection, necessitating antibiotics for a week

Gastric type flu, which 4 weeks later is still hanging around

Shoulder, now close to being mobile – yippee

Hip, IT Band, Glutes  – all still problematic

I did however, Marie Kondo my running kit drawer, so it looks professional, even if I don’t.

March – 

Flu continues

Shoulder within touching distance of a fix

Hip – being very stubborn and I am banned from running

Upside, we are due back in Italy soon and I have my physio plan.

Downside, my physio plan involves weird crab like manoeuvres, involving me squeezing my buttocks imagining I’m holding a £20 note between them. Having never squeezed a £20 note (or any other denomination or currency) between my buttocks, this does involve a severe look of concentration, coupled with the hope that I don’t really look like a constipated crab.

Now I didn’t know that there is a YouTube character called the Constipated Crab, so here for your delectation is the Constipated Crab Video link. Any similarity between me and said crab is purely physiotherapical (I know it’s not a word!)

 

The main reason for posting is that if I keep doing the Physio and exercises, and if I write about those instead, it’ll keep me on the straight and narrow.

Wish me luck on the latest part of the physio treatment plan. Tomorrow morning – we do the stork, followed by the crab thing, followed by squatting and leg lifts, with my assorted coloured elastic bands. Think primary school bondage, and you’re not far off my current exercising look. I have a fear that after having broken the 2k km in a year, that I could end up redoing C25K again. My fingers are crossed  that me and Mr Smooth don’t actually have to start dating again.

 

 

 

 

 

 

15 Feb – Strike A Pose…

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From geek.com, where more Shrek delights await. Parental Advisory: this site contains images not suitable for children, and I’m not sure they’re any better for adults.

Another day passes, and yet another day without a run (sigh). The upside is though is that Mr JCR and I are in Arnhem for a Winter Wonderland and Fairytale birthday party.

The downside is that one of the friends of our friends is threatening to turn up as a naked Shrek. Green and with dangly bits, it doesn’t bear thinking about, especially for an outdoor barbecue in February. In case your imagination doesn’t stretch that far, here is a pic, so you can enjoy the same nightmare I did last night.

To the more serious bit about running, it is now just on five weeks without a run, and in that time five sets of physio. The good news is the pain is improving, the bad is that it’s not improving anywhere near quickly enough. But I have exercises to do and they seem to help. I am giving myself a mental limit to the end of February to start back running in earnest.

My running limit is 2km per run (as advised by my Physio) I must not run again until the aching subsides – presently that’s been five or six days, most of the pain is centred around the IT band, and it’s being very stubborn in attempts to sort it out.

The exercise regime includes squats, lunges and a crab type thing with buttock squeezes – and when I am being pummelled by the Physio, I more or less have to adopt the Shrek position above.

If I don’t start running soon my buttocks will also resemble Shrek’s. That is my update – an update where nothing is happening. Although I have a feeling that if a naked Shrek does appear on Saturday night, I’ll soon find my running capability comes back very quickly.

More next week, when Mert, Victor and the unnamed lady physio, will be doing their very best to get me moving again.

 

 

 

 

29 Jan – JCR Is On The Road Again

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Strictly speaking, this is not exactly true, but the Physio has confirmed I can try a little run, no more than 25% of my usual distance and I must rest for 24 hours minimum afterwards.

This coupled with Mr JCR acting as a muscly stretching person on my unwilling legs and an introductory course of Pilates, is supposedly going to get me back to normal. Hurrah. (I’m trying to forget the squats instructions…)

As to the dodgy shoulder, that’s a longer game, Mert and Victor and Raffaella are going to continue to see me weekly for at least a couple of months to come. As I don’t run with my shoulder, that’s a little less of an issue, although the injury is more severe, but it is going to curtail any thoughts of boxing for a while.

A little ray of sunshine pierced through the injury gloom, and the blooming flowers in the park on the way home, made me feel quite optimistic.

From a Couch to 5K member, to a 2000km runner, I am now back to doing just 2kms, but it’s 2kms more than I’ve been able to do for almost four weeks now.

If the Beast from the East is returning for me, I’m ready and waiting – trainers are on standby.

 

 

 

8 Jan – Jan What’s The Plan?

person holding pen drawing on paper
If only I had a plan…

This was what my fishmonger asked me, having expressed surprise that I was still running, despite having met my 2018km Alzheimer’s Challenge.

And I don’t have one – yet. Clearly I can’t run 2019ms in 2019, otherwise last year’s effort won’t be a standout achievement and as I am typing this with a runner’s ailment beginning with a ‘p’, most probably caused by overrunning, then I need a new one.

I have a variety of things to consider:-

I like running – mainly because I can do it

I have kettlebells – vampire kettlebells hiding in the wardrobe, as I have a frozen shoulder type issue and my left arm can just about pick a flower up, therefore one side kettlebell training is not great

I quite fancy a go at boxing (not with people, just a punchbag) – but see above re dodgy shoulder

My core is a soft squidgy excuse of a core and if I had a stronger one then I could be a better runner

I appear to have a running ailment requiring physio

I’ve almost persuaded myself to run a half marathon in aid of dementia in Italy and more to the point invited Gill my running buddy to join me.

Therefore, my ‘plan’ such as it is, is:-

  • get the ‘p’ ailment sorted
  • get the shoulder sorted
  • start doing some non-running exercise as determined by a physio/personal trainer
  • then work on the half marathon training

10th January update – I have now been to physio (big shout out to London Metropolitan University Science Centre), where Mut and Victor put me through my paces, under the supervision of Rafaella. What a find this is, final year MSC students needing practice and bargain basement prices, and a really good session.

I went from Jancanrun to Jancanyelp. Mut and Victor are smiling assassins, first off the shoulder is being treated for an impingement and now I have some new movement; after the pair of them took it in turns to apply friendly but serious pressure. This may mean in time I can put on a bra without needing to adopt the hook swoosh method. The hip has been diagnosed initially, treatment starts next week as I should have booked two appointments this time.

In the meantime, it’s shorter gentler runs for me, so as not to make the hip worse.

Part 1 of the plan is started.

 

 

 

 

7 Jan – Looking for Blue

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and finding only grey skies today. Second run of the year, just going where the legs took me.

London is slowly returning to its pre-Christmas normal. The fake German market huts have gone, the lights are down, but the tourists are still around and an awful lot of post-Christmas runners are skipping around the City.

I made my way through the City and towards the Strand, the pavement traffic was light and I was nicely light on my feet, turning south, I wanted to run by the river. Ooh it’s a bit windy and I am ‘joined’ by a running group. They are four and on my heels, but I have solo ninja power to aid me and I keep them at bay. But like wolves circling their prey, slowly, relentlessly they hunt me down and overtake in a swoosh near Tate Modern. I try to pick up the pace but have a slightly dodgy right hamstring, which having read up on Dr Google is another runner’s ailment beginning with ‘p’. I take a chance to have a breather and read up on this new ‘p’ ailment – it apparently can be due to overrunning (mmm I wonder how that happened), or lack of flexibility (okay hands up).

A bit of random stretching is in order, and I do have a right real pain in the bum – literally. Oh that’s another sign of this ‘p’ ailment. I decide to slow the pace and do a jogette back to base. The only light blue I saw was on the Tower Bridge railings, but my mood is not blue, it was a lovely run and an appointment has been made to see a physio on Thursday.

Playlist

First singles ever being tested.

Ride A White Swan – TRex

How Long – Ace

Living For The City – Stevie Wonder

Living Doll – Cliff Richard

Maggie May – Rod Stewart

Baby, Stop Crying – Bob Dylan

It’s Still Rock and Roll To Me – Billy Joel

Bedsitter – Soft Cell

As Long As You Love Me – Backstreet Boys

The Things We Do For Love – 10cc

Babe – Take That

I’m Not In Love – 10cc

Mississippi – Pussycat

mmmBop – Hanson

Take A Chance On Me – ABBA

Hello This is Joanie – Gary Brown

Changes – David Bowie

The Bump – Kenny

Killer Queen – Queen

Cool for Cats – Squeeze

Keep On Running – Spencer David Group

Life On Mars – David Bowie

Creeping Death – Metallica

Transmission – Joy Division

Hippy Hippy Shake – Swinging Blue Jeans

Take My Breath Away – Berlin

Stats

Distance 10.48km

Time 1:07:19

Average Pace 6:25

Elevation Gain 85 metres

Cumulative 16.5 kms (this is 16.5km more than I managed this time last year, so it’s not exactly bad news)

 

 

 

 

 

16 Nov – Mojo Safari

 

Today I went mojo hunting for my running mate who has lost hers. I didn’t find it in Islington yesterday, but I’m not sure the fish shop was ever a likely location.  This morning however, the stars were aligned, I was wombling my way towards Trafalgar Square and running along Fleet Street, when I saw Shoe Lane – if ever there was a place for a running mojo to be hiding, I am guessing it could be here. And then of course I was actually on Fleet Street – another hint perhaps as to the whereabouts of the missing mojo.

I continued on to the Strand, where even though it was morning the Christmas lights were twinkling away merrily. This particular mojo is purple I believe and likes sparkly things so of course I had to stay with it and I was only about 3.5kms into my run.

I was convinced the mojo may have visited Trafalgar Square, thinking that a bit of Nelson’s courage may have rubbed off and she would have decided to go back to Yorkshire. Despite some impressive lions, Nelson himself, there was a Yoda, a man sitting on a spade and ‘Death’ with his scythe – the last three were hardly good luck portents, and frankly pretty rubbish frozen statues. No sign of a mojo here, we need something a little more in keeping.

And so it was, I ended up in Covent Garden, a humungous Christmas tree outside, twinkly lights on the inside and the most glorious mistletoe and baubles hanging from the ceiling. This definitely felt like the place a mojo would visit, then I saw some mojo confetti lying around. She’d left a trail obviously. Without further ado I picked up some of the confetti and sent it back to Yorkshire, because I think the mojo might be missing it.

The street artist outside Covent Garden was telling everyone they were having a good time and I was. I enjoy looking for mojos, even though when mine goes awol, it seems a lot harder to find.

Dear running mate, when your parcel of mojo dust arrives, I am sure your mojo won’t be that far behind.

Playlist

The numbers playlist

Lucky Number – Lena Lovich

5705 – City Boy

One Day Like This – Elbow

One More Time – Daft Punk

Five Years – David Bowie

She Will Be Loved – Maroon 5

Nine To Five – Sheena Easton

Perfect 10 – The Beautiful South

10 Lovers – The Black Keys

Swords Of A Thousand Men – Tenpole Tudor

People in Love – 10cc

The Eleven Rap – Dark Punk

21 Seconds – So Solid Crew

Thirteen Sad Farewells – Stu Larsson

Fourteen Rivers Fourteen Floods – Beck

Fifteen – Taylor Swift

Edge of Seventeen (twice) – Stevie Nicks

19 – Paul Hardcastle

21 Guns – Green Day

I’m Gonna Be 500 Miles – The Proclaimers

When I’m 64 – The Beatles

Disco 2000 – Pulp

80s Joint – Kelis

Love Shack – B52s

96 Tears – ? And The Mysterons

Stats

Distance 10.01km

Time 1:15:30

Average Pace 7:32

Elevation Gain 53 metres

Mojo – dust found and sent back home

Alzheimer’s Challenge

Kms Run 1855.26

Kms To Run 162.74

15 Nov – Be Careful What You Wish For…

dandelion macro photography
I can’t blame the dandelions…

Or in my case, what you wrote down one day last year. I had been wondering when I’d decided to do my Alzheimer’s Challenge – I checked out the blog for the first mention – thinking I’d committed to it sometime in November last year.  The reason for checking -well I couldn’t work out why I hadn’t created a plan nor a training regime prior to starting in January, and now I realise why.

It was actually December 14th when I first wrote about my wish to run virtual races throughout the year, to raise some money for research.   This was Plan (a) –  Plan (a) was quickly ditched when I couldn’t find any races to sign up for. Plan (b)  – the running down dementia challenge; run 100km and raise £100, which as I was running about 80kms a month anyway didn’t seem that much of a stretch. The hunt was on for a Plan (c).

A few more days of investigation passed and still no joy, Christmas came and went and it was in that time we call ‘Twixtmas’, that I committed on Plan (c)  to ‘run the year’ , The    slight issue is I’ve just re-read what I wrote back then and I actually committed to  ‘run 2018km as a minimum’.

Oh holy cow Batman – minimum. “Friends, Romans and Countrymen lend me your ears and how about we make a deal?” JCR types with fingers crossed tightly, which does make it hard to type, hoping that you will all support me in my final spurt.

The  ‘m’ word does sound a little emotive as though 2018kms in a year is a lazy-arse effort, and to be honest I’m pooped just thinking about those kms again. Here’s my proposal how about for my last last run of the year, I run 2.018 kms to a pub?

Then I will have run 2020.018kms, and get a gin and tonic or similar for my troubles. Or is this way too easy and you think I should suck up a longer run?

Answers on a postcard or if you’re suggesting something horrid like a marathon, can you please send a geographically challenged carrier pigeon instead. Btw – out again today and another 5.8 kms banked for the challenge.

Big thanks to our friend in London, B, who kindly sponsored me over the weekend. Another boost to the old confidence and knackered legs.

And a big hug to my running mate MummyCav who has lost her mo jo at the mo. I did run to the local fish shop to try and find it, but can confirm it wasn’t there, so it must be lurking in Yorkshire.

Playlist

What else but the MummyCav mix:-

Single Ladies – Beyoncé

Dear Prudence – Siouxsie and The Banshees

Sherry – Frankie Valli and The Four Seasons

Alison – Elvis Costello

Kayleigh – Marillion

Maggie May – Rod Stewart

Poison Ivy – The Lambrettas

Respect – Aretha

Ophelia – The Band

Queen Of Clubs – KC And The Sunshine Band

Roxanne – The Police

Uma Thurman – Fall Out Boy

Zoe Jane – Staind

 

Stats

Distance 5.80km

Time 40:33

Average Pace 6:57

Elevation Gain 23 metres

Alzheimer’s Challenge

Kms Run 1845.25

Kms To Run 172.75