The Characters

These are some of the people I have met on my runs, some are one-offs, others have become part of my running life. The hyperlinks take you to the post where I first met them.

Albino and Anouska

Originally named as Mr & Mrs Physio because I saw the lady was using a stick and walked a lot slower than her husband. Now we’ve introduced ourselves, they are actually called Anouska and Albino. They do two loops of Lovers’ Lane and Villa Bali every day, to get what they call ‘un bel inizio’ a beautiful start to the day. My favourite people on my runs. They always smile.

Billy Rhomboid aka Rignold aka King of Squats

This man has at least three noms de plume, Billy being his real-life one, Rignold his adopted user name in C25K, and King of Squats my nickname for him. You need to understand that this man is a monster machine when it comes to squatting, he will not rest until the whole world squats with him. Truly frightening!

Babbo Natale  – Father Christmas or Santa Claus

A nice, friendly older chap with white hair and a beard with twinkly eyes. His beard isn’t as long as the real Babbo Natale’s – I’m thinking he has a summer cut, but he does have a red scooter. I think he stays here on a Father Christmas summer camp.

Carabinieri Forestale

Carabinieri are the para-military police force in Italy. I am not entirely sure what the Forestale arm do, perhaps they arrest trees? We do have some very aggressive trees around here.

Caramel Chic Podista

A fellow lady runner who uses a similar route to me, we have passed each other a few times now. In her late 20s/early 30s, stunning looking, caramel coloured swooshy ponytail. She seems to favour a short top/sleeveless look with capris or long leggings. She always looks stunning, when I see her, and I always look like a tomato. Ho hum.

Dame Duvet Dench

A lady who walks around my running route and has a penchant for wearing duvet coats, the fully feather filled concoctions. All of this would be understandable if I saw her wearing the coats in Winter, but the fact is I often see her in summer still wearing the duvet coats when it is over 25 degrees.


A newbie on Health Unlocked, as I write she has just finished Week 2. Gutsy and busy, but being gutsy overcomes being busy…


This is the faff-mouse, a creature that strikes when you least expect it. This animal creates lots of mini problems, which impede your progress, before a run, during a run and after your run. The best procrastination animal ever – she makes you do things you didn’t realise needed doing, like cleaning the shower drain, just before you get changed for a run…..


Our oldest friends in Italy, I really don’t think we would be here if we hadn’t have met these kind generous friends. If they hear your burglar alarm, they set off over the land on their moped to help you….

Gabrielle – aka the molto chic podista

A Canadian all-round wonderful human being. Mistaken by me for an Italian runner, slim, lithe, coordinated, swooshy pony tail. Oh and she is in the medical profession something to do with Aids and HIV cures. Basically a super hero in human form.


An Italian man who looks remarkably like Jimmy Greaves (in his punditry life). He lives in the Barking Balcony House on the Slope of Hope

Heinz 57

Seen in the early days of my running, he is about 25-30 I guess walking a Heinz 57 dog. Now I think he may have been just visiting the area. (see Heinz 57 copyright details at the foot of the page)

IannodaTruffe (Couch to 5K)

One of the two Health Unlocked C25K Mentors. He has years of running experience, and always has pragmatic, sensible advice for folk. His catchphrase is ‘Keep runnng, keep smiling’

IgaT (Couch to 5K)

A dog walking, hiking superstar who thinks an 11 mile hike is fun (eek). A bit of a ninja on the side, she runs stealthily and is a big fan of  both IannodaTruffe and Old Floss, just like me.

Iron Man

A dog walking, bald man with a collie dog (well mannered, the dog I mean as I don’t know about the man necessarily). Skinny legs with calves like flat irons, hence the monicker!

King of Squats aka Rignold aka Billy Rhomboid

King of Squats is the name I respectfully gave Rignold one of the members of the C25K community on Health Unlocked. According to this man, there is no human ailment that can’t be fixed by doing squats. And not just any squats – he has variations to make men weep. In fact variations that makes this woman weep, copiously…

Lord Kitchener

Older guy with fantastic handlebar type moustache, looks very much like Lord Kitchener from the war posters, except he wears shorts. Usually seen in Lovers’ Lane.


The heatwave hitting Italy and the Med this summer. Devilishly hot temperatures up to 45 degrees this year. He definitely overstayed his welcome.

M and G

Singlehandedly dragging Italy out of the recession, they run 3 businesses, have 2 children and are building their own house in a Grand Designs style.  The greatest of friends we speak Ingliano together,  they are famous for the tordo incident. Their real life includes characters far more weird than the ones in these pages. G wants to run with me (once her broken metatarsal is out of the way)

MCP1 and 2

Dutch friends of ours who live nearby and came along with me, as a show of solidarity for my running challenge. They ran whilst I’m just challenged. They look like two gorgeous, fit female ninjas, which of course they are. MCP standing for Molto Chic Podistas. J&A are now official members of the JCR running crew, because I didn’t feel embarrassed running with them.


One of Lucifer’s brothers according to Google. After the Lucifer heatwave in mid summer, we had a mini version late August, which remained unnamed.

Michael Johnson – known as Mr Smooth

Chosen as my ‘coach’ because hey the guy is an Olympic Gold Medallist, he has loads of bling, and I thought that if anyone could get my sorry arse out onto the road, he would.

Miss Marsupio

Often mistaken at a distance for Dame Duvet Dench, she is another walker of some repute, she must walk miles a day. She listens to her headphones and is always smiling. Called Miss M because she always wears a bum bag and bum bags are called marsupio in Italian.

Mr Chicken

Has an interest in the garden of the Inglesi (us), particularly likes domestic fowl. Often in the company of Mr Spaghetti Western.

Mr 118

Seen early on in my runs, about 75-80, wears a very natty pair of seventies style running shorts, hence the monicker. One of the C25K crew thought he could have been a multi-millionaire in hiding. One in particular thought he would have enough money to buy a rather gorgeous elephant sculpture seen at Frieze Art Fair. (see copyright details at foot of page)


Long suffering husband. Broken back after major skiing incident and can now only really cycle or swim. He hates swimming so cycling is his passion. Very supportive and can always be relied upon for bubbles/Bucks Fizz to celebrate any kind of running milestone. Recently kissed the tarmac in the Alps and is sporting a rather vicious scar.

Mr Loper, Loper

Young runner seen locally, must have a death wish as he runs with both headphones in and with his back to the traffic. In my mind I hear Shaggy and Mr Lover Lover, when he passes me.

Mr& Mrs Physio

Originally named thus, because I saw the lady was using a stick and walked a lot slower than her husband. Now we’ve introduced ourselves, they are actually called Anouska and Albino. They do 2 loops of Lovers’ Lane and Villa Bali every day, to get what they call ‘un bel inizio’ a beautiful start to the day. My favourite people on my runs. They always smile.

Mr Smooth – also known as Michael Johnson

Mr Smooth and I have a relationship, he sends me date reminders, although is always adamant that I have my trainers at the ready. It does seem however that he double dates on occasion. But the voice… mmm. September 2017, I have seen an Aviva advert with a Mr Smooth in it, my IPR has been breached and I have to say my Mr Smooth is much better than theirs!

Mr Spaghetti Western

A card player who we see in the local bar cafe playing cards, in my head I always hear an Ennio Morricone  film score when I see him. Often in the company of  his dog a gorgeous golden retriever and a certain Mr Chicken.

Mr Woodpile

A nice gentleman living on the Slope of Hope, so-called because we only ever talk together about his immaculately managed woodpile. It is log porn..

Nuns on the Run

We have two sets of sisters locally, one at a convent for foreigners to come to a sanctuary, the other produces local hooch. Not sure which ones are the Ferrari drivers.

OldFloss – (Couch to 5K)

One of the two Health Unlocked C25K Mentors. Infinitely wise, she advocates going slow and steady so you find your happy pace. Kept me going more times than I can say.

Peter Parka

Taciturn, security guard on Wood Street, guarding what looks to be a back door to nowhere. Always wears a parka no matter how hot. Could be related to Dame Duvet Dench.

Pigiama Mamma

Lady of the house in the Hill That Kills. Has a wonderful pair of sun, moon and planets pyjamas.

Pumping Jack Flash

Either a cycling runner, or a running cyclist. Seen on the Scary Bendy Road.

Rignold aka King of Squats aka Billy Rhomboid

When I first started out on C25K I read with fear about squats, and a certain name kept popping up. Rignold. In my weird world I was convinced it sounded Viking or at least Icelandic and the truth from the man’s own lips is “I have borrowed that name from the conductor of the City of Birmingham Symphony Orchestra in the 1960’s when my mother was a viola player. Hugo Rignold. It is just such a splendid name.”

Mr Sponge Bob Square Pants

Not the famous children’s character, but an amazing runner seen at the local pista in Fano. He looks literally like a cube on legs – hence the name. (see full copyright details at the bottom of the page)

Copyright and Trademarks:-

SpongeBob SquarePants:  © 2017 Viacom International Inc. All Rights Reserved. Nickelodeon, SpongeBob SquarePants and all related titles, logos and characters are trademarks of Viacom International Inc. Created by Stephen Hillenburg.

118 is the trademark under ©2017 The Number UK Ltd, all rights reserved

Heinz 57 © 2010 H.J. Heinz Foods UK Limited. All rights reserved.

Nuns on The Run created by Handmade Films